Pizza. So yummy and yet the source of great jokes. Here we offer you a menu of 100 pizza jokes that will put a cheesy grin on your face.
Sit down, lay the napkin on your lap and tuck in.
1. Do you know what a dog’s favorite pizza is?
Pupperoni!
2. What does the pizza say when they want you to cuddle with them?
Fold me close!
3. What did the culinary school teacher say about the pizza student?
There’s mushroom for improvement!
5. How does a pizza introduce itself to you when you meet for the first time?
Slice to meet you!
6. What makes Domino’s pizza jokes good?
The delivery
7. What did the pizza say when the party ended?
Good-pie, everyone.
8. What is the math teacher’s favorite food?
Pizza Pi.
9. If it took six kids 5-minutes to eat a pizza, how long would it take three kids to eat the pizza?
None because the six kids already ate the pizza.
10. Do you know why Dracula ran out of the Italian restaurant?
Because they put garlic on his pizza.
11. What did the pizza delivery guy say to the child at Christmas?
Merry Crustmas!
12. What do baby doctors have in common with pizza store owners?
They both deliver!
13. What kind of pizza do lovers order?
Truly Madly Deep-Dish Pizza
14. When is it possible for a pizza to marry a hot dog?
After they have a very frank relationship!
15. What is the favorite song of the pizza maker?
Slice, Slice Baby
16. What did the pizza say when it went to the art gallery?
“I never sausage a beautiful painting; it’s the best I’ve ever seen.”
17. Do you think pizzas are wealthy?
Yes, of course, they are rolling in dough.
18. Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
19. Do you know why the pizza chefs were excited when they didn’t have to work?
Because they had more thyme to spend with their family!
20. Do you know why the famous pizza was sad?
That is because the pepperazzi are always chasing it.
21. Do you have any idea where Pharaohs like to eat?
Pizza Tut.
22. How did Italy honor the pie?
By building the Tower of Pizza.
23. How can you tell that a pizza is left-handed?
After you finish eating, the remaining pieces are left!
24. Why was the Hawaiian pizza not cooked?
Because the oven was on aloha temperature.
25. Do you think it is necessary to be strong to stay in the pizza pie business?
Yes, indeed, you must be a good boxer.
26. What did the aardvark order on his pizza?
He asked for Ant-chovies.
27. In your opinion, do you think the pizza in this restaurant is worth talking about?
Talking about, yes; eating, no!
28. What toppings do carpenters mostly love to put on their pizzas?
Saw-sages.
29. Why are so many pizza restaurants located in shopping centers?
Why not? The mall, the merrier!
30. Which subject in school do you think is preferred by pizza lovers who order sausage, meatball, pepperoni, and salami toppings?
Arithmeatic!
31. Do you know what the tough pepperoni said?
“Dough you wanna pizza me?”
32. Where do pizzas like to visit for vacation?
Answer: they like Florida so that they can bake.
33. Do you know the type of cheese that my dogs love to have on their pizzas?
Mutt-Zarella.
34. What would the pizza say If it could talk?
Most probably say lots of cheesy things.
35. Why did the man get a super spicy pizza?
The waiter thought he ordered a “pepper-only” pizza.
36. What’s the difference between a pizza and a good pizza joke?
A good pizza joke can’t be topped.
37. A customer running out of patience asks the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?”
The waiter replies: “No, your pizza will be round.”
38. I told my wife to make me a pizza.
Because I don’t wanna be a human anymore.
39. What do Greek people use to cut their pizzas?
Caesars.
40. Scientists have invented a machine that can ruin any pizza.
It’s called a microwave.
41. What did the retired priest call his pizza shop?
Cheesus Crust
42. On my way back from work, I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up pizza and coke. But it appears she was not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the kids.
43. Can I tell you a pizza joke?
I better not. It’s too cheesy.
44. How do you calculate the volume of a pizza with radius Z and height A?
Pi * Z * Z * A
45. Have you heard about the new pizza outlet?
It’s called Pizza Mafia. They’ll make you a pizza you can’t refuse.
46. Have you ever considered what a T-Rex and my pizza have in common?
They’re both meat lovers
47. Why do restaurants put their pizza in square boxes?
Because they don’t cut corners.
48. I am a little ambivalent about pizza.
On the upside, it has some fantastic toppings. On the downside, it doesn’t.
49. I noticed a man cutting his pizza with a smartphone
I know it is cutting-edge technology, but c’mon!
50. If you can’t decide on what kind of pizza to get, you’re indeSLICEsive.
51. Why do pizza places always deliver the pizza before giving it to you?
They should just have avoided putting the liver in the first place!
52. What is the best thing to put in a pizza?
Teeth.
53. What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common?
Doh.
54. I’m eating mostly whole foods lately; Whole pizzas, whole cheeseburgers, whole tubs of ice cream.
55. I used to go to church every week…But then they stopped ordering pizza from us.
56. Why did the topping leave the pizza dough?
Because it was too kneady!
57. What do you call it when someone spreads germs all over your pizza?
Little Sneezers
58. I’m going to open a restaurant that only serves crabs and pizza.
I’ll call it the Crust Station.
59. What do you call a fake pizza?
A pepperphony pizza.
60. Wood fired pizza?
How’s pizza gonna get a job now?
61. How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
62. Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
63. What did the kid say after eating a frozen pizza?
Well, that wasn’t very thawed out.
64. What did the Dalai Lama say when he walked into a pizza parlor?
He says, “Make me one with everything.”
65. I fell asleep with a pizza in the oven today.
Burned 2000 calories.
66. Why did Jabba win the pizza contest?
Because no one out pizzas the Hutt.
67. What’s the difference between a doughnut and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family.
68. What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
69. A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says, “It’s a pizza of our pasta.”
70. What do you call a sleeping pizza?
Pizzzzzzzzzzzzzzza
71. What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
72. Did you hear about the pizza place on the moon?
Great pizza, but no atmosphere!
73. What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie Hard.
74. What did the pizza chef say when he dropped a meat lover’s pie?
“I never sausage a tragedy!”
75. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history.
76. Why didn’t the restaurant finish making the take-out pizza order?
They ran out of thyme
77. What did the pastry chef say when the pizza chef asked him for help?
“I cannoli do so much.”
78. Why do people like making lasagna from scratch at home?
It’s pretty much a pizza cake.
79. What’s the difference between two 10″ pizzas and one 14″ pizza?
One pi
80. There are only two things I run for
Pizza and my life.
81. When does a pizza lover go to Kentucky Fried Chicken?
When they’re in a fowl mood!
82. Which popular singer was named after a pizza company?
Madonna-mo!
83. Who is the pizza’s favorite relative?
Aunt Chovy.
84. How do we know army drill sergeants love pizza?
They keep shouting, “Pizza Hut, two, three, four!”
85. What did the customer say when the pizza baker told him, “I put my heart into that pie”?
“Never mind your heart. How about some pepperoni?”
86. What did the pizza joint owner say when the basketball team called to say they were having a pizza party?
“That’s a tall order!”
87. Which sailor hero adores pizza?
Pop-pie!
88. How did the spaghetti get close to the pizza?
By using its noodle!
89. Why do golfers like pizza bagels?
They all want a hole in one.
90. How do reptiles order pizza pies?
Well, the croco dials!
91. What pizza personality is faster than a speeding bullet and able to leap over
tall buildings in a single bound?
Supieman!
92. Why don’t they make olive pizza?
It’s the pits!
93. How can you get a job slicing pizza?
Who knows? But it’s knife work if you can get it!
94. What did the mama and papa pizza say to their child who wanted to be
an astronaut?
“The pie’s the limit!”
95. Can a pizza marry an octopus?
You must be squidding!
96. Would you use spaghetti as a pizza topping?
Why not? It has pastabilities!
97. Which historical leader was a great pizza eater?
Attila the Hun-gry!
98. Who is the president of Pizza Land?
The Big Cheese!
99. When would a vampire find time to eat pizza?
During a coffin break!
100. Do fine restaurants serve pizzas?
Only if they wear jackets and ties!
Did those whet your appetite? Thanks for stopping by and we trust we served you up a hearty meal of laughs. Sadly, we have to switch off the oven and call it a day.
It’s been a pleasure having you stop by and we hope to bake up another batch of laughs for you soon.