OP is getting married and planning a low-budget wedding with a reception lunch in her parents’ backyard for close family and friends.
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The Options
She has carefully selected a mix of vegan, vegetarian, meat, and fish options to cater to everyone’s diets and allergies. However, her sister-in-law (SIL), who is the only vegan guest, is unhappy with the vegan options on the menu and requests a separate plate of vegan cocktail pieces and a vegan cake from a caterer she likes.
OP finds this rude and inconsiderate, given that she had already made specific plans for SIL t
o have enough vegan options, and they are tight on budget. OP’s fiancé disagrees and insists on paying for SIL’s caterer on his own dime to please his sister. OP is curious to know if she is being insensitive and an AH for thinking it’s rude.
OP thinks it’s rude because she had already accommodated SIL’s vegan diet and provided diverse and protein-packed options. She believes SIL could have offered to pay for her caterer or ordered it herself. OP also feels that SIL can be spoiled, as she has relied on her fiancé and their mother to fund her since quitting her job to change careers but hasn’t shown any gratitude or tried to be mindful of her spending habits. Despite their argument, OP and her fiancé agreed to disagree, as they don’t want to turn it into a more significant issue and become bridezillas.
In summary, OP is getting married and planning a low-key wedding with diverse food options, but her sister-in-law is unhappy with the vegan options and requests a separate caterer. OP finds this rude, but her fiancé insists on paying for it to please his sister.
The Is a Red Flag
One of the first and most agreed sentiments in the thread is that the SIL is being very selfish and controlling. This is combined with the fact that her soon-to-be husband is very naive to go along with his sister’s outlandish requests.
“NTA. This is her way of having some control of your wedding and proving that she has control of your fiancée. I foresee lots of issues ahead.”
Rightfully the commenter suggests that this is the beginning of many more severe problems along the road. Her soon-to-be husband and extended family are overly supportive of a member who is only out for themselves and keen to cause trouble.
A husband who may not have a spine to push back against unfair behavior and a SIL who will likely become a tyrant if given the chance to control the family. It is of grave warning from the thread that this is much more serious than it initially appears.
She Should Be The On To Pay
It is clear from the comment section that many believe that the SIL is entitled to have a food preference. However, if she wants it then she needs to pay for it:
“She didn’t like the options provided specifically for her and then asked YOU to pay for something different, knowing you’re on a tight budget. Do you and your fiance not join finances? Because “on his dime” is technically on yours too.”
It was evident from the story that the OP and her partner are trying their best to have an inexpensive wedding. Therefore, they must keep their costs to a minimum, where catering is typically one of the most expensive elements.
Insisting the SIL pay for her food would be an excellent option for everyone. However, it has been noted that the OPs fiance is funding her as she moves between careers. The commenter also points out that one marriage, her fiances and her finances will be combined. So, whatever he has to pay for, she may well ultimately have to pay for too.
HIS MORAL STAND AGAINST DISCRIMINATION LEFT HIS FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW REFUSING TO ATTEND HIS WEDDING.
Source: Reddit
