A woman asked, Am I The A**hole if she was being unreasonable this week after a storm erupted over her wedding arrangements. The woman told readers that she lived in France and her fiancé was based in the US, and, between them both, they decided to hold the wedding in France so that most of their mutual friends could attend.
While this seemed reasonable to most people, their plans hit a snag when the original poster’s (OP) future mother-in-law protested that she did not want to be at a wedding around so many police officers. It appears that the fact that her son’s fiancee was a police officer was held from her until details of the wedding emerged.
The OP tried to reassure her fiancé’s mom that police officers were ok and there would be no issues on the day. Still, there was no reasoning with the future MIL, and an argument ensued. It quickly became apparent that the OP was marrying into a family who evidently disliked the police.
Still, as she wanted her wedding to go smoothly, this is something she felt could be put aside. The future MIL, however, became mad, which led to the OP uninviting her from the wedding and hanging up the phone.
The OP was clear that if her future MIL was making the whole wedding about herself, then she should not attend. She said she had refused several calls from her fiancé’s mom and had not told her fiancé yet as he was on a work trip.
When pondering whether she was the a**hole, people quickly reassured her that she was not, with one person saying, “The mother sounds rude and obnoxious.” Another stated, “Sometimes children are unwilling to confront difficult parents over boundaries. If it affects more than just the child, it’s fair game once it’s clear the child’s unwilling to do anything.”
This is one feeling we had when reading as we wondered why the OP’s job was not known to his mom and why he wasn’t having the conversation with the MIL.
However, some people thought the OP was the a**hole, saying, “She’s the AH for her reaction and thinking she can dictate who you invite to your wedding, along with where you get married.” Others commented on her control of the whole situation, saying, “The irony of a cop making a unilateral decision without caring what their supposed partner thinks….”
On the other hand, others felt empathy for the mom, saying, “YTA uninviting her is the start of the relationship you will have with your in-laws. It’s also not fair to your future husband to start your life together by instigating a conflict with his mom.”
Readers, including us, were desperate to know what her fiancé thought of the situation. Hence, the OP gave an update to say her fiancé was not bothered as he thought his mum would probably cause a lot of hassle anyway. Something told us this would be the case as if she was an a**hole about her son’s wedding plans; what else would she get mad over?
However, some people pointed out that she may have had her reasons for being against the police. One person commented, “Her reaction is probably motivated based on how police in the US is a corrupt institution.”
While AITA fans were not agreed with the decision of who was the a**hole, it goes without saying that there is a lot of talking to be done within the family, as clearly, they have not been communicating with one other very well.