A 24-year-old woman inquired if she was wrong for declining to allow her boyfriend and his kids from a prior relationship to “mooch” off her.
Neither Party Wants To Get Married
She explains that marriage isn’t on the cards, but the couple has been getting more serious.
“I’ve been dating Josh for a year. I should say now that I don’t ever want to be legally married, and Josh is divorced and doesn’t want to remarry. We also live in a place where there is no common law marriage.”
He Wants To Move In
The woman is in an unusual situation where she owns her own home.
“We’re talking about Josh and his two daughters moving in with me. I own a 3-bed, 2-bath house in a nice area. Josh rents a 2-bed, one-bath apartment, and his lease is coming up. My mortgage is $1k a month, and Josh’s rent is $1.4k a month.”
She Wants To Charge Him Rent
Before any keys exchanged hands, they had a talk about the financial side of it.
“I figured it would be unreasonable for Josh to expect to just live with me for free, especially since I’d be giving up one of my rooms so his daughters could have a room. I suggested that Josh pay $700 a month to me in rent, half what he is currently paying.”
She Feels She’s Being Reasonable
She laid out her thoughts.
“I would cover the cost of any home repairs, internet, garbage, etc. Then we would split utilities, even though there are three of them and one of me, I don’t mind splitting since that would be about what I’m currently paying, I predict. And since I meal-prep once a week, I would just get my own groceries and he could get theirs.”
Josh Thought He Was In For A Free Ride
And wasn’t happy with her plans.
“When I laid everything out, Josh was very unhappy and said since it’s my house, he shouldn’t have to pay rent and that we should split groceries.”
They Began To Quarrel
The woman feels that if the tables were turned, she wouldn’t have an issue with this setup.
“I told him he was welcome to buy his own house, and I would move in with him and happily pay rent while renting out my own house. He was mad at me because he said he’s not in a position where he can buy a house.”
He’s Making Her Feel Guilty
And they can’t come to an agreement.
“I suggested he just find another apartment (the owners aren’t letting him renew), and we could revisit the topic in a year. He’s not happy with that either because rent prices have skyrocketed here, and 2 bedrooms now go for around 1.8k a month, and he thinks he won’t be able to find a place he can afford.”
She’s Annoyed He Doesn’t See It From Her Point Of View
She thinks her offer is better than what he’d get anywhere else.
“I’m a bit frustrated because I feel like $700 a month is a really good deal compared to the likely $1,800 he will have to pay.
Since we aren’t going to get married or anything, I don’t understand why he thinks I would be okay with him living for free with his two kids. I’m happy to have romance and companionship but shared assets and finances are not something I want in life. I don’t want to support a man.”
Sharing And Showing
Josh got mad because she asked an online community if she was wrong for charging him rent – and because they took her side.
“After a very loud and angry argument with Josh, I broke up with him. Despite pretty much everyone telling him he was wrong, Josh insisted that I should basically support the three of them because it’s what would be best for his kids. He doesn’t seem to understand that they aren’t my kids, and no one is going to want to bankroll the three of them.”
He’s Out Of The Picture
The comments from users made her realize she should move on.
“I’m young, good-looking, I own a house. I can do better than a broke single dad who has no education and a lousy job and who thinks it’s ok to mooch off me and scream in my face when I tell him no. Hope your next girlfriend is stupid enough to put up with you, Josh. No wonder your ex-wife left.”
Everyone Thinks Josh Is A Moron
After reading her story and Josh’s motives become clear, the community had no sympathy for him. One user said this:
“Way to screw up, Josh. He had it good and now he has nothing. Choosing beggar energy for sure.”
Definite Moocher Vibes
Users agreed Josh was clearly using the woman. One commented:
“He probably could have countered at $500 a month (half her mortgage) and gotten an even better deal. But no. Gotta be a mooch.”
Her Offer Was Completely Fair
Another comment said, “This man talked himself out of $700 a month rent at a house with a yard, half his utilities paid, and living with a younger girlfriend (willing to live with his kids apparently full time). He could have used the break in rent to risk moving to a better job, save money for his kids, or give them that life they’re apparently ‘missing out’ on. It’s almost impressive how badly this man screwed himself over. I would love to be a fly on the wall knowing what he’s telling his friends and family about this.”
Josh Is A Golddigger
Users agreed that Josh seems like the type of guy who has made bad decisions his whole life and expected others to pick up the slack.
“Josh could be living the good life with OP [original poster] but chose to be a moron. Good for OP for realizing she doesn’t need to be Josh’s ATM.”
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