Minecraft. Such a popular game with both kids and adults. We have mined, dug and crafted a list of 100 Minecraft jokes that any blockhead will enjoy.
Creep through these slowly and enjoy them until the Enderman…
1. What do Minecraft players do at the weekend?
They go to square dances
2. How do Minecraft players avoid sunburn?
Sunblock
3. What’s Steve’s favourite sport?
Boxing!
4. How did Steve make the skeleton laugh?
He tickled its funny bone
5. Why did the Creeper cross the road?
To get to the other ssside
6. How does Steve measure his shoe size?
In square feet
7. How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties
8. Why are zombies good at Minecraft?
Dead-ication
9. Why didn’t the Enderman cross the road?
Because teleported instead
10. Did you hear about the Minecraft movie?
It’s a blockbuster
11. What is a Creeper’s favourite food?
Sssalad
12. What did the zombie say to the villager?
Nice to eat you
13. What’s a witch’s favourite make-up?
Ma-scare-a
14. What did Steve say to the skeleton?
I’ve got a bone to pick with you
15. What do you learn at witch school?
Spelling
16. What music do Minecraft players listen to?
Bedrock n’ Roll
17. Did you hear about the Creeper-only party?
It was a bast
18. How does Steve stay in shape?
He runs around the block
19. What do Australian Creepers use to hunt?
Boom-a-rangs
20. What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy
21. Which band always plays at the Minecraft New Year’s party?
The Village People
22. Why can’t the Ender Dragon ever understand a book?
Because he always starts at the end
23. How are ocelots like m&m’s?
You can’t just have one
24. What do witches put in their hair?
Scare spray
25. What did Charlie Brown say when Steve broke his baseball bat?
You Blockhead!
26. What is Cobblestone’s favorite type of music?
Rock music
27. What tops off a Creeper’s ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream
28. How did Steve answer the jungle cat?
You sure do Ocelot of questions
29. What’s the most hostile mob on a minecraft beach?
The sandwitches
30. Do you know where the scariest place is in Minecraft?
Nether do I…
31. What did the chicken say to the sheep?
Nice to meet ewe
32. Which rock band do skeletons like most?
The Grateful Dead
33. Which country do ghasts like the most?
The Nether-Lands!
34. What city do most wolves live?
Howllywood, California
35. Where do miners sleep?
On their bed-rocks
36. What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
Lazy bones
37. Why did the sailor bring gold, silver and iron into his boat?
He needed ores (oars)
38. What was the name of the Minecraft boy band?
New Kids on the Block
39. Why can’t you score against Minecraft basketball players?
They know how to block
40. Why did the creeper cross the road?
Because there was an ocelot chasing him
41. Why aren’t there cars in Minecraft?
The streets are blocked off
42. Why didn’t the skeleton like to fly?
He had no guts
43. Why couldn’t the minecraft player join the army?
He was a miner
44. What did Steve say to his girlfriend?
I dig you
45. What did the sheep say after trying to eat a cactus?
Accidents Wool happen
46. Where do you shear a sheep?
At the baa-baa shop
47. What time is it when ten ocelots chase Steve?
Ten after One
48. What did the minecraft turkey say?
Cobble, cobble, cobble!
49. How do you make things change direction in Minecraft?
You block their way
50. What is a creeper’s favorite subject?
HissssSSSSStory
51. Why could’t the miner get to his diamonds?
Something blocked his way
52. How do Minecraft players kill skeletons?
With their bones and arrows!
53. How good is Minecraft?
Top-Notch
54. What is a pigman’s favorite cereal?
Golden nuggets
55. What video game do gold hunters love to play?
Minecraft
56. My ocelot was having trouble watching YouTube. It turns out, the video was just on paws.
57. Last night I went to a Creeper party, it was weird, obviously.
58. Why can you always spot Zombie Pigmen at Subway?
They like to “Eat Flesh”
59. Why does Stampy have a fence around his love garden?
People are dying to get in!
60. What’s the difference between a killer rabbit and a counterfeit bill?
One is bad money and the other is mad bunny!
70. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Diamond
Diamond who?
You’re diamond me crazy!
71. I hear Steve isn’t very good at thinking outside the box…
72. Saw a little creeper when playing Minecraft the other day
Call that a baby boomer
73. I’m excited for Minecraft’s caves and cliffs update. But it will probably have its ups and downs.
74. I’m trying to make a meme on breaking bedrock in Minecraft
But it’s way to hard
75. What’s the square root of Minecraft?
There’s three, actually. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.
76. Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in Minecraft?
He punches a trhee-hee
77. What kind of meat do you get from Minecraft cows?
Cornered Beef
78. Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where in Minecraft can you find a block that has only two square feet?
Whichever one the player’s standing on
79. What would a hammer be called in Minecraft?
MC Hammer
80. What did the one element say to the other while they were playing Minecraft?
Bromine!
81. I tried and failed to make an underwater breathing machine in Minecraft.
I just conduit.
82. Did you hear about the new minecraft update?
It’s groundbreaking
83. That “Minecraft” videogame is taking its toll on my cousin’s health.The doctors have never seen someone so young afflicting by Black Lung.
84. What did the minecraft villager say before he died?
Hmmm
85. Me and my wife got married. I proposed via Minecraft.
We tied a square knot.
86. What did Steve say to the Zombie?
Do you want a piece of me?
87. What do you get when you cross an Enderman with a creeper?
A teleporting bomb
88. Why don’t they have knock-knock jokes in Minecraft?
Because hostile mobs don’t knock on your door—they blow it up!
89. What happens when a creeper walks into a cafe?
Everyone dies
90. Why can Minecraft spiders swim?
Because they have webbed feet
91. What song does a blaze like to dance to?
“We Didn’t Start The Fire”
92. How do hostile mobs start a fairytale?
“Once upon a slime…”
93. Why did the Enderman stop playing?
Because he was at the end of his game
94. Why are Minecraft spiders so angry?
Because the keep going up the wall
95. What did the player say to the slime wasn’t seen for a while?
You gruesome
96. What do mosquitoes and zombies have in common?
They like a bite before bedtime
97. How did the witch kill the player?
Her portions just blew him away
98. What do you say when you meet a Wtiher?
“Bye, Bye, Bye”
99. What games do zombies like to play with ants?
Squash
100. Where does an Enderman sleep?
Anywhere he wants
We need to put down our shovels. It’s been exhausting work creating this list.
Yet we take pride that we have built a world of hilarity for you. Time to ssslither out of here…
