OP is a single mother to three children, struggling to make ends meet after her husband suddenly died a few months ago. Due to the considerable drop in income, she was forced to move to a tiny one-bedroom apartment with her children, ages 16M, 14F, and 2F. OP gave the bedroom to her two older children and asked them to share in the meantime while she stayed in the living room with her youngest child.
Kids Not Happy With New Set Up
OP tried adding a privacy screen to give her older children some space, but they weren’t happy with this arrangement. Each of her kids used to have their own room, so this was a massive change for them. OP has been looking for a better-paying job for months and has not had any luck. She cannot get a second job as she cannot afford to pay someone to care for her 2-year-old outside daycare hours.
She’s Using a Food Bank
OP has been struggling to put food on the table and has been using the food bank to feed her family. She has not been eating for two days a week and has been telling her children she is trying out a fasting trend for weight loss purposes.
She Can’t Afford to Eat
However, the truth is that she cannot afford to feed everyone. Her older children are not willing to help, and they say her youngest child is not their responsibility.
Should She Share With Her Son?
OP is unsure what to do and wonders if she would be the AH for asking her children to share the bedroom or if it would be better to suggest her son sleeps in the living room with her and have her two female children share the bedroom instead.
Have A Surface Level Talk
After receiving many responses, OP realizes that it would not be fair to put adult problems on her children. She plans to have a surface-level talk with them about their finances and bring them with her to the food bank to show them what they are going through.
Use a Divider
The bedroom is larger than the living room, so OP can fit two single beds into the bedroom and give the children space to store their clothes while still having the room divider in the middle. The living room doubles as a dining space as there is no dining room.
She’s Doing Her Best
OP is going through a difficult time, and it’s important for her to find support and resources to help her family. The loss of her husband has put a significant financial strain on her family, and she is doing the best she can to provide for her children.
Online Forum Responds
The impression made by the commenters is mixed. But many agree that the son and daughter are being selfish, failing to understand how serious the situation is.
One suggested that they should be humbled by:
“Explain to the kids what is happening and that you are trying to fix the situation. Take them to the food bank with you. They need to know that you’re doing your best during a difficult time. You don’t need to hide this from them.”
People Unwilling to Help
There is a lot to be said about the kids not being mature enough to take on the responsibility of some of the family duties. Many have suggested that their generation is full of people who are unwilling to work hard and help others, even their own families.
They’ll Make Sacrifices
Alternatively, many have noticed that once teenagers fully understand the situation, they will be more willing to make sacrifices. They are thought to be like every normal teenager that is selfish ad narrow-minded to begin with before appreciating what they are doing is wrong.
They Need To Know
“I’d say NAH instead of NTA though, because the kids aren’t being assholes. They’re teenagers of the opposite sex who suddenly have to share a room after their dad died. But indeed, they need to know what’s going on.”
This is a good comparative comment that clearly illustrates that they are young people with little life experience. They are just reacting naturally and in a way that many have in their teenage years.
They’re Just Children
It’s a common misconception that kids these days are inherently selfish. However, it’s important to understand that children are still learning and developing their social skills, including empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives.
They’re Still Learning
During childhood, kids are naturally more focused on their own needs and desires because they are still learning how to navigate the world and their relationships with others. As they grow and gain more experience, they start to realize that sharing a room with each other is a small cost for getting the family life back in order.
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