In this story, the OP (a 23-year-old woman) was raised by her older half-sister (32 years old) after their mother passed away when OP was 10.
OP’s sister’s father was still in her life but refused to support OP, so OP’s sister became her guardian, sacrificing a lot for her, including her relationship with her father, college, and her 20s.
A few months ago, OP got engaged and asked her sister to be her maid of honor and walk her down the aisle. Her sister was thrilled, but her fiancé objected, stating that it wasn’t appropriate for her sister to walk her down the aisle since it’s usually done by a man. OP explained that her sister had fulfilled so many roles for her throughout her life, including being a big sister, mother, father, and friend, and it felt right to honor all of those roles on her wedding day. However, this turned into an argument that has spread to her in-laws, with her mother-in-law suggesting that OP is putting her sister before her fiancé on his wedding day.
At this point, the sister has even offered to just be the maid of honor to avoid causing stress on OP’s special day, but OP is still holding out and doesn’t want to concede on this point. OP is questioning whether she’s the AH in this situation.
Is This A Taste Of Things In The Future?
Many of the commenters have suggested that OP should seriously consider if she is making the right choice. Her new family is quite controlling over a very small detail of the special day. Therefore, it is worth being aware that this attitude will continue into the future.
“Tell your MIL that your FIL can walk your fiancé down the aisle if he wants to give someone away. Or better yet, strongly consider not marrying into this family because they’re the a***holes.”
This commenter makes a mockery of their strange requests. It is clear that the readers are in line which what the OP is saying. Clearly, her soon-to-be husband’s family is really not giving a good impression.
Her Sister Is More Important
With divorce rates as they are these days, it is significant to note that the husband might be temporary, but her sister will always be her sister. As one commenter notes:
“NTA, don’t marry him. This will be the rest of your life. Your sister will never be respected because she isn’t a man.”
Clearly, people agree that this man is showing some serious red flags before a lifelong commitment to each other. It is critical that the OP thinks long and hard before she is stuck with a person that does nor respect her family.
Family Is Key
OP obviously had a very difficult life. Her sister is her parental figure and should be cherished and appreciated for her sacrifices. She is obviously appreciated and admired for what she has done to help raise OP on her own.
“What a wonderful way to honor your sister and the roles she has played in your life.”
When it comes to family and the tradition of weddings, OP should have every right to enjoy her wedding day as she sees fit so that she celebrate it alongside her sister precisely as she would like to. Commenters heavily support OP’s decision to have her sister be a significant part of the ceremony.
What About Tradition?
Of course, some commenters have noted that she is marrying a traditional family, which they are free to be. This means that they would find it very unusual, considering that the bride’s father would always walk her down the aisle.
Also, in an edit by the OP she notes that the in-laws are paying for around 75% of the wedding. In this case, it seems more reasonable that they are trying to dictate parts of the ceremony to reflect their beliefs.