A mother has recently posted on the Reddit forum Am I The A**hole—or AITA, for short—asking if she was an a**hole “for paying for my son’s wedding.” Well, that’s not how we would summarize what she did! Read on to find out what this woman shockingly said to her son.
The mother, OP, explains that she has two adult sons. One of them will soon be getting married to his second wife. The mother loves his fiance very much and dramatically approves of the wedding, saying she is friendly and polite. She also gets on well with OP’s granddaughter, her future stepdaughter, which we agree is good to see.
At a family gathering recently, the subject of the oncoming wedding came up. OP’s son and fiance were talking about how they couldn’t afford their dream wedding and honeymoon, so they would have to choose between them. Wanting to help out the couple, OP swooped in and offered to split the bill; they would do both, and she would pay half. Sounds innocent enough, right?
That’s because what actually got OP’s family upset came after this offer. She has another already-married son who said, “Hang on, you didn’t help pay for my wedding. Why are you helping pay for my brother’s but not mine?” OP didn’t hesitate. “I told him that I didn’t like his wife, and he knows it,” she said. At least she’s honest! OP thinks this son’s wife is cold and hardly ever speaks to her and says she wouldn’t pay for a wedding she disapproves of.
This married son accused OP of showing favoritism, to which OP responded that she wasn’t, as she hadn’t paid for the other son’s first wedding either, and then—here’s the kicker—said she would pay for the married son’s second wedding too. Unsurprisingly, her son called her an a**hole and left.
Honestly, we can’t help but kind of respect the snark. It’s clear that OP was being an a**hole, though. Imagine telling your happily married son you’d be happy to pay for his second wedding. Yeesh. No one is saying it was an a**hole move to offer to help pay for the next wedding, but let’s be honest, OP, you know that’s not what this is about.
“YTA for saying that, but the petty in me respects that shade, lol,” says one comment. “I wanna rule she’s in the wrong. But damn, the petty is high level. And high-level petty that’s technically fair is an art,” says another. There’s a small amount of speculation in the comments on the nature of the rift between OP and her already official daughter-in-law.
Some think maybe the daughter-in-law is rude, but OP says she’s “distant.” Worth noting that the reasons she likes the other woman are that she’s “nice and polite.” It seems OP may have an attitude problem—do you want people because they’re polite, exciting, or funny?
Plus, all sorts of things might make a person distant, and seeing what we have of OP’s attitude, we wouldn’t be surprised if she’d said something at a first meeting that made her daughter-in-law want to stay away! What do you think?
Amusingly, many subreddit users liken OP to the villainous but charming fictional character Lucille Bluth from an old TV show called Arrested Development. Lucille Bluth is the matriarch of an affluent and self-centered Californian family of real estate developers and is famous for her immensely witty and horrible remarks she says mainly to her own children.
References are scattered in the comment section. “She should have advised they start a small side business to fund their weddings,” says one user. “There’s always money in the banana stand.”