In a recent Am I The A**hole (AITA) post, a man asked if he was wrong to threaten to take his girlfriend’s car away and give it to his mom. You may be sitting open-mouthed at this thought, but when you hear that she has not been paying for the car for these past 8 months, your empathy may favor the original poster (OP).
The boyfriend explained that he had financed the car in his name for his girlfriend of three years when she had a long commute to work, and her old car was not in excellent condition. He mentioned that his girlfriend was in and out of jobs and could not seem to hold a steady job, getting bored and trying to find something “good enough.”
While he was happy to support his girlfriend in financing a car, she was paying for the installments, but that all changed when she lost her last job and refused to look for another. Understandably, the OP is struggling to meet the demands of paying for his girlfriend’s car alongside his car and their rent. He told readers that he was trying to encourage his girlfriend to get a new job and had even reached out to his friends to offer her a job, which she refused.
In some good news for the OP, AITA fans quickly supported him and declared that he was not the a**hole. Many people jumped to the conclusion that his girlfriend was not facing her responsibilities and that she needed a huge wake-up call. One commentator said, “ If she cannot talk to you about $$ like an adult, then she is not mature enough to have a car. “
The OP’s story resonated with many AITA readers, with one saying, “As someone who chased a similar relationship for five years, through marriage and eventually divorce, I know it’s complicated. OP probably sees flashes of what the girlfriend could be and wants to support that”.
Many others noted that this did not sound like the relationship was working when they said, “This. A relationship is a partnership. Right now, only one person seems willing to pull the load.” This is harsh advice indeed, but it is seemingly indispensable.
Some people agreed that he was not the a**hole but wondered if he was enabling the problem. One person pondered, “There is zero incentive for your girlfriend to get a job. Why should she? She has transportation (provided by you) at her disposal, so she can come and go as she pleases.
Her rent is covered. She has no food expenses. Who buys the gas for the car – is that you also?” Another pointed out, “If it was a finance company and she didn’t pay for 7 months, the car would be repossessed”.
While the OP will certainly feel vindicated in his actions, he has been left with some serious food for thought with one person encoring him to “take a good hard look OP. This is your future if you choose to make a life with her.”
This poster tried to do well and support his girlfriend, often going out of his way to fix things. However, we wonder how much his girlfriend relies on him and how sustainable the relationship is, especially given his financial situation.