A groom-to-be recently turned to Am I The A**hole to vent his frustration at his family’s attitude towards his upcoming wedding. The original poster (OP)gave insight into this family background, explaining that he grew up in a small family that consisted of him, his mom, and his sister while his dad was not around too much.
His mom remarried when the OP was a teenager, and he has now become close to his step-siblings. However, things became strained a few years ago after a family argument that meant he hardly spoke to his mom and sister but was still very close to his grandparents.
While he has never poorly said of his mom, his wider family knows they are not on speaking terms. All seemed well as it was, but things got complicated when it came to wedding invitations. The OP plans to invite his mom and sister, but seemingly this is to be civil rather than wanting them there.
His Grandad picked up on this and said that he and the wider family would not attend the wedding if his Mum were uncomfortable attending. The OP went on to explain that he was not quite sure how to take his Grandfather’s comment but then said that it had come to light that the family had been talking about the seating arrangements at the wedding.
He explained that the plans were to have the bride’s parents, the best man, and the maid of honor at the top table but not his mom. The family now demands that the OP’s mom sit at the top table so she is not publicly shamed, despite how much it will upset the groom.
The OP seemed genuine when asking for advice from AITA fans. He wanted to enjoy his dad without sitting next to a person who made him uncomfortable. He can rest easy as most people were on his side and agreed that he was not the a**hole.
One person was quick to say, “NTA. You’re (sic) family is all TAs. They are showing you their true colors through their lack of support. Others firmly agreed, saying, “NTA. Maybe you should explain the situation to your relatives to avoid hurting yourself.”
Like many readers of this post, we agree that while family situations may be tricky for some, it is ultimately your wedding, and you should be happy with every decision you make. One person shared this opinion: “If your family doesn’t come, it shows what is important to them, but it is not you and your feelings. It’s your wedding, and it’s not about them.”
It was pointed out that while the OP was not the a**hole, he should not be too mad at his family as they may not know the whole story. One person said, “Op is NTA. But you can’t blame the family. They don’t know the reason for the estrangement from the Mum and sister. The OP never told them because they didn’t want to bad mouth Mum and cause problems in the family.”
Another Reddit fan agreed, offering, “Though I think now may be the moment to explain to at least your grandfather why you’re estranged from your mom.”
In an update, the OP said he had room feedback on board and spoke to his grandad to explain his feelings. There is a plan for a family meeting in which the OP can explain why he feels this way towards his mom, as apparently, it is not clear to his family. Hopefully, this can help his family understand his wedding choices, and they can all come to some compromise.