A recent Am I The A**hole (AITA) Reddit post caused serious debate when a 50-year-old stepmom told readers she would NOT attend her stepdaughter’s wedding after falling out a few years earlier.
The original poster (OP) told how she had helped raise her husband’s two children from a young age. After their addict, mom lost parental rights and moved away from her children when they were 3 and 8.
The OP lovingly raised her husband’s children to the point they referred to her as a mom. Fast forward 15 years, and the biological mother was in recovery, had been in therapy, and secured a job and thus wanted to reconnect with her kids.
While one child, Sarah, was happy to reconnect with her mom, the older sibling, Mike, resisted a reunion. In addition, the child’s father was hesitant about the children’s absent mother returning to their lives. Still, the stepmom assured him it would be good to give her a second chance and for the children to have some relationship with her.
This led to Sarah and her biological mom forging a new relationship. Still, Mike was not on board, unable to reconnect with his mom and stay loyal to his stepmom.
Sarah became frustrated with Mike and her stepmom and distanced herself from them. This was until Sarah got engaged and began planning her wedding. Unfortunately, when she invited her stepmom to her wedding, she flat-out refused and caused Sarah to accuse her of ruining her marriage.
The OP told of her hurt at being rejected as soon as her biological mom came on the scene. She said that she told her stepdaughter, “she clearly didn’t want me there and only cared about appearances and being on her gramps good side (he’s rich).”
This was in response to Sarah saying that people would find it strange that her Dad’s wife was not there. Being referred to as her Dad’s wife rather than stepmom upset the OP. Many readers agreed, saying, “I really don’t get how you can just throw away a full, healthy relationship with a non-bio parent in favor of a bio parent who was never here for you.”
However, her husband, Rob, disagreed by saying she” ruined his daughter’s wedding and made her cry, that all she wanted was me there and this was a chance to fix our family.” This comment made people respond, ” he is fine dumping his parenting responsibilities on his wife.
Why did she explain to the kids how they are entitled to different feelings towards their bio mom? Indeed, surely; that’s their Dad’s job? People couldn’t seem to get their heads around that Dad and stepmom didn’t even know that Sarah had a fiancé, yet OP had to defend herself to her husband.
Many people jumped to the OP’s defense. They declared she was not the a**hole, stating, “Sarah is an absolute brat. You cannot ignore someone for years and expect them to do anything for you.”
Others did have some sympathy for Sarah. One commentator also said, “It’s toxic forgiveness, coerced forgiveness, rearing its hideous head once again,” about how Sarah responded to her mom being back in her life again. |
This led to others showing empathy for Sarah, saying, “I can see the day when Kate isn’t sober anymore, treating Sarah like crap, and Sarah regrets every single choice she made.”
The OP told of how the relationship between her stepdaughter is now very strained, with Sarah and her now husband blocking the OP and Mike from any contact.
It is clear that there is a lot of work to do to rebuild these relationships, and we can’t help but wonder exactly what the OP’s husband has to say about all of this.
HIS STONE COLD GREED. WIFE TRAGICALLY LOSES HER PARENTS BUT HER HUSBAND DEMANDS INHERITANCE
Source: Reddit
