Sarah, a divorced mother of four, faces a difficult decision when her boyfriend proposes to her, as accepting would mean losing her health insurance and alimony, which are her only source of income.
The Divorce
There was a woman named Sarah who divorced her husband, James, after 21 years of marriage. Despite some fighting, their divorce was less litigious than expected.
New Love
Sarah started dating a new man, who she fell in love with. However, there was one major obstacle in their relationship: Sarah’s health insurance and alimony.
Covered For Life
In the state of Massachusetts, Sarah was able to stay on James’ group health insurance as his ex-spouse. The judge also ordered that Sarah receive alimony for life or until she remarried. Although Sarah didn’t work during their marriage, she was entitled to this financial support due to raising their four children.
New Marriage, No Healthcare
However, if either James or Sarah remarried, she would lose her health insurance. James made it clear that he had no intention of getting remarried, but he also hated the fact that Sarah was still covered under his policy.
A Good Guy
Sarah’s boyfriend was a case manager at a nonprofit, and they were very much in love. However, when Sarah had a pregnancy scare, her boyfriend proposed that they live together so they could start a family.
A Tough Decision
Sarah was torn because she knew that if she got married or moved in with her boyfriend, she would lose her health insurance and alimony.
Bad Finances
Sarah’s boyfriend didn’t understand why she was so hesitant to accept his proposal. He thought that they could make it work on their combined income, but Sarah knew that it would be a financial struggle.
Low, Low Income
She had checked and realized that if she had continued her administrative job, she would only be making $17 an hour today. It was impossible for her to support herself and her children on that income alone.
He Didn’t Understand
Sarah was upset that her boyfriend didn’t understand her situation. She wanted to be with him and start a family, but she also needed her health insurance and alimony to survive.
Not an Option
Moving in together was not an option either, as the family court laws would assume that they were sharing finances.
Was She Being Selfish
Sarah felt torn between love and financial security. She wondered if she was being selfish for prioritizing her health insurance and alimony over her relationship. Despite her love for her boyfriend, Sarah knew that she couldn’t risk losing her only source of income.
The Internet Responded
This commenter wrote, “Not your attorney, but you should be aware that your ex-husband can still file for a modification when he reaches retirement age regardless of the fact that you were married for 20+ years. You might not be set for life. I’d make sure that you’re saving for your own retirement funds.”
More Internet Comments
This person said, “I’m a supporter of alimony to SAHMs, but you can’t have it both ways. Realize that you are choosing money over your boyfriend. I don’t blame him for having a gigantic issue with that.”
A Final Comment
Another person posted, “I truly believe that SAHM is a full-time job worthy of respect, especially with multiple kids. But OP is very obviously just trying to be retired at 40 without any savings and mooch off the ex for the rest of his life.”