We’re wondering – which boundaries have you embraced in your relationship?
Respecting Tastes
“Please respect my TV and movie tastes. Don’t have to like the same shows/genres, but if I am watching something and you don’t like it, maybe do something else?”
“I will never allow someone to dump on the things I enjoy ever again. It takes a massive toll on your self-esteem.”
Respecting Tastes
“You dismiss it as them having different tastes, but then the comments start to sound condescending until you realize that they’re full-on dumping on something you love.”
Mutual Effort
“I can’t be the only person willing to make an effort, like always going to see them or always doing all the planning.”
Back-Handed Remarks
“When someone says ‘I was joking’ after saying something cruel. Any cruelty masked as humor. Red flag.”
“Either means the person is insecure, controlling, or lacks emotional intelligence/empathy.”
Relationship Exams
“Someone who runs tests on me to see where I stand in the relationship instead of communicating.”
“My ex used to stop putting a kiss at the end of his texts when I’d said something that had annoyed him to see if I’d notice and apologize.”
“Testing a relationship is provoking it to fail.”
Decision-Making
“Please do not make me make all of the decisions. I don’t know what I want to eat. I don’t care what we watch.”
“Can you please make these decisions 50% of the time? I make decisions all day at work.”
Knowing What You Want
“Sometimes it’s nice to have a partner who is very rational and decisive.”
Small and Unnecessary Lies
“Lies, even about small things, are a hard no from me.”
“I know so many people who think it’s no big deal if someone lies about their age, height, job, etc., on a dating app.”
“Lie to me about even the little stuff, and we are going to have issues. If you screwed up, just admit it.”
Criticizing How You Do Things
“You’re not my parent, my teacher, or my boss. I don’t care if your way is more efficient or effective.”
“If I need help or advice, I will ask for it. All you’re doing is stealing my joy to make yourself feel good.”
Travel and Vacation Compatibility
“I don’t want to take cruises or sit on a beach, getting drunk and sunburned. And someone who does want to take vacations like that would probably find me an insufferable travel partner in return.”
“Same here. I will not be happy just sitting on the same beach all day. I want to explore and see things, hiking.”
Morning Space
“Please don’t talk to me for 15 minutes after I wake up, and please don’t ask me questions for 30 minutes. My brain is still smooth and hasn’t gone online yet.”
“It took a while to convince hubby it was in his best interest to caffeinate me before speaking. He brings me coffee in the bathroom and leaves every day!”
“Morning questions, HUGE NO. Let a girl hatch.”
Gotta Love Animals
“I have pets, and if you can’t stand my dog cuddling you or the tortoise begging for a banana, then nope.”
“My cat is no longer my cat. She’s his cat. She decided he agreed. I secretly love it.”
Separate Snack Bowls
“No sharing because he ham-fists all of the chips before I can even get a third one.”
“They shovel it down, whereas I take two or three at a time. It drives me nuts. So they get their own now.”
Respect
“When my opinions/likes/recommendations, basically any bid for sharing an interest, are ignored…but when one of their male friends shares the exact same opinion/likes/recommendations, it’s like he’s hearing it for the first time.”
“This has happened to me so many times, and it boils my blood when they come home excited about something I’ve recommended for months.”
Bathroom Privacy
“Shutting the bathroom door when using it and staying out when I’m using it.”
“If my partner is hurt or sick, then absolutely. But just peeing with the door open and stuff normally? Can’t do it.”
Public Humiliation
“As much as we rib each other privately, we never do so publicly.”
“Public humiliation by my partner is a HUGE no for me.”
Healthy Emotional Expression
“Not dismissing my feelings. My SO used to say things like, ‘You can choose not to be upset’. I told him how much of an unpleasant mindset that is. He never used that line again.”
“Silent treatment. I get needing a little bit of time and space to process, but when a reaction to a disagreement is the full-on silent treatment instead of mature communication, that’s a nope for me.”
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