There is a lot that can negatively impact our self-worth—a home environment where the members were high on criticism yet low on love. TV, movies, magazines, and other media (including social) portray an idealized version of what we should look and live like. If you find that you have very little self-worth, don’t despair. It’s possible to turn things around and appreciate just how precious you are as a human being. Here are 18 things that women who value their self-worth do. Try these, and then see how amazing you begin to feel.
It’s Not a Setback. It’s a Chance to Grow
“Learning your value comes with conquering each new challenge, so it takes a lifetime. I’m almost 60 and wouldn’t have it any other way.”
For those of you who have low self-esteem, you may balk at the idea of looking for challenges. Yet, overcoming an obstacle makes you feel great inside and boosts your confidence and self-worth.
Start with small challenges so that the process isn’t daunting.
I Am Me
“Around mid-high-school when I stopped caring about what others thought and just enjoyed being engaged with my school work (big maths/science nerd) without worrying about the future.”
It’s time to stop comparing yourself with others or being caught up in their thoughts. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and unique, then enjoy life in the present moment.
It’s the Worst Thing That’s Happened
“Nothing quite like surviving the ‘worst thing’ to make you realize that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit.”
Look at the things you have already overcome in your life. You have so much strength and courage.
I Was Made This Way
“Definitely just realizing genetics is a lottery game, and all we can do is try and be our best self and be happy.”
The best version of you is the most beautiful one. It doesn’t require perfectionism but a willingness to be yourself.
Bye, Instagram
“I hope I don’t offend anyone with what I’m about to say, as it can be an unpopular opinion, but I didn’t fully appreciate myself until I got off of social media. No matter how much I worked out, how well I did at school/work, or how well I ate, social media was always there to remind me that it wasn’t good enough. No matter how well I did, I always felt inadequate. I realized how truly unhealthy it was and decided to quit all social media sites, and my confidence and happiness increased exponentially.”
Bye, Instagram
“I was no longer living my life comparing it to others or trying to convince others I was something I wasn’t, I simply did what made me happy and proud, and without all the added pressure, I managed to find my worth. I was enough.”
You may not go such an extreme as quitting all social media. Yet, ask yourself: “Am I comparing myself to others? If so, why?”
Love What You Do
“It took losing my friends for me to realize my own self-worth. It wasn’t until I was faced with a lot of time alone that I realized the hobbies I love and wanted to pursue, then they came with great people who I want to spend time with, etc. I never felt sure of myself until I started excelling in something other than work, which is the fulfillment I get from my hobby, I guess!”
Get into your hobby, and then you’ll attract like-minded, happy, and positive people around you.
Let Me Help You
“Helping other people realize their worth. Even when I am at my worst and darkest days, I will push things aside to help a friend in need. I’m a leader of a youth group/bible study now, and it makes me so happy to help teens find their way through life.”
Altruism is a great way of highlighting how valuable and important you are. Thanks for caring.
It’s Okay to Say No
“Learning to speak up for myself no matter how weird it makes me feel. I used to say yes and go along with everything even if I didn’t want to. Good people don’t care if you disagree with them, and after having many bad people in my life, sticking up for myself got rid of a lot of em.”
It can be hard to tell others what you want or to refuse an invitation. If you have little-to-no confidence, it’s a huge leap.
I Love Me
“Look up vipassana meditation. It’s nothing spiritual, not religious, no cult, or anything like this (which was my first thought and made me avoid it at first). It teaches about loving kindness, for one thing, most of all towards yourself first.”
The hardest person to love can be ourselves.
Let’s Pretend
“I hear a lot of people use that phrase (“fake it til you make it”), and while I hate cliches, I really don’t know a better way to build your own self-esteem. And that’s exactly it – other people can’t confirm your worth for you. You have to do it yourself.”
Imagine the ideal. You then start acting like that. Reality will soon catch up.
Thank You for the Beautiful Day
“Consider practices like meditation and writing down or saying what you are grateful for and counting your blessings daily.”
When you refocus and see the blessings that are always around you and that you also are a blessing…self-worth increases.
Sports Time!
“I think playing any sport would work. I run and lift weights and work out a ton, and it’s the one thing that I can count on when everything else in my life is going wrong.”
Physical activity has physical and psychological benefits: you start to look good, and your emotional high after a workout is incredible.
I Love Your Hair
“My favorite thing to do is compliment someone else, see how bright their eyes get, know how their entire week has been made, and then I feel great just knowing that person feels good now.”
Giving compliments costs nothing, but the return you get for improving your feeling of self-worth is incredible.
Where Are You From?
“Expose yourself to cultures and individuals that are very different from you.”
When you broaden your horizons through interacting with different cultures and ideas, you grow as a person. You and your life become richer.
I Did This by Myself
“Being independent. Doing things my way and putting work into them, so I can be proud of what I did.”
Looking back at something you did by yourself fills you with a sense of achievement and pride. Your self-worth has just increased a notch or two.
My Goal for Today Is…
“Set measurable and achievable goals and then complete them off, one after the other. You can start with stuff like ‘get out of bed’ (for someone with clinical depression, that one is a mountain on its own), and then progress to ‘make a dish for two meals,’ and then ‘start my essay’ and then ‘try out for this team.’
Setting goals and smashing them will fill you with positivity and motivation. Watch your self-esteem and worth as a person start to skyrocket.
Let Me Write This Down
“Keep a journal if you don’t already”
Transferring your troubling thoughts and emotions onto paper is a great psychological outlet. It allows you to do a mind dump and get all the ickiness out of you. A liberating and illuminating activity.
My Toes Are Amazing
“Lying in bed at night, sometimes I list all the body parts I can think of and why I love each one. For example I love my eyes because I can enjoy the beauty of trees. I love my skin because it helps me feel the warmth of sunlight. I love my mouth because I can taste delicious food with it. I love my stomach because it helps me use the energy from that food to accomplish my daily tasks. It really is possible to reframe your view of your body so that you appreciate it for what it does, not just how it looks.”
Your body is incredible no matter what people say it looks like. Be thankful for each part of it.
I am an incredible, beautiful, and unique person
There you have an incredible array of options thanks to the generous Redditors out there who have struggled with self-worth.
Not all of the items we have covered may resonate with you. That’s okay. Take what connects with you and begin the beautiful journey of building up your self-esteem.
Here is something to tell yourself out loud to get you started:
“I am an incredible, beautiful, and unique person.”
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