Relationships between a man and a woman can be difficult to navigate when men are seemingly from Mars and women are apparently from Venus!
Men from an online community discuss the top 15 things women say/do that destroy a relationship.
Gossiping About Intimate Things
It’s no secret that women LOVE to talk and often tell their girlfriends everything – including their relationships/sex lives.
One user shared how off-putting this is: “Their friends know everything about our time together. Letting their friends tell them how our relationship should be and what I should do. It’s best if you don’t do this.”
Double Standards
Okay, so while this isn’t exclusively a female thing, many guys expressed frustration at the hypocrisy that often comes with relationships: “Setting expectations that they don’t expect to follow e.g., Get me water because I’m in bed and lazy. Oh, but get your water; you’re being lazy.
Rejection Sensitivity
Rejection isn’t pleasant for anyone, but there’s a myth that men take it worse than women do, and these users disagree: “I’ve noticed the rejection sensitivity thing, especially when it comes to sex. I think it comes from the idea that all men want sex all the time.”
Another user chimed in: “Women talk about the fragile male ego. But due to the act of pursuing, men get rejected and so can deal with it. Many women, in my experience, don’t deal with rejection well at all.”
Poor Communication
While men aren’t always known to be masters of communication, many women haven’t exactly nailed it either: “Creating entire scenarios in your head about what you think your man meant/did/said/whatever and then giving him the cold shoulder and responding when he asks what’s wrong with either ‘Nothing!’ in a tone that says, ‘Everything!’ or even better, ‘If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.’ Fine, then you aren’t willing to communicate.”
Zero Accountability
This is a dealbreaker. Both sides need to own up when they’ve screwed up. One user said, “Honestly though, how can we succeed in relationships if we don’t agree that in many cases BOTH partners are valid in their feelings & reactions, but must also take accountability and put effort toward their delivery, action, processing, etc.”
Reading Between The Lines
Men are straight shooters; they usually say what they mean and mean what they say, and there is little wiggle room, yet still, so many women come up with an ulterior narrative: “This one drives me insane. I speak what I mean all the time. There is no secret message.”
The “I’m Fat” Narrative
This one is getting old and smacks of attention-seeking. And it drives guys bonkers in all the wrong ways. One man shared this: “Talking about how ugly/fat/etc. they think they are when they know you are attracted to them. Gets tiring fast.”
Knock it off, ladies. You’re gorgeous, and everyone knows it.
Never Taking The Lead on Anything
“A relationship should be two people wanting to make the other feel special, not one being the sole recipient of feeling special.”
It’s time to debunk the myth that the guy must always take the lead. As the saying goes: it takes two to tango!
Jealousy
While everyone can succumb to the green-eyed monster occasionally, it is limited to how acceptable it is. “My ex was insanely OTT jealous to the point where she would have a complete meltdown if I even acknowledged another woman was attractive. It didn’t stop her from getting busy with other guys, which she denied. But then I was the one labeled ‘insecure.’”
Rejecting Affection
Few things kill a relationship faster than someone’s words/actions of affection being refused. One guy said: “Reject all signs of affection and compassion from their partner. After enough, ‘oh, get off me when someone is hugging you, they’re going to stop hugging you.’”
Being Careless With Her Words
“Making crude, snide remarks without thinking of the hurtful effects, consequences, and repercussions their words have caused!”
Men have feelings, too, and words hurt.
Not Making Any Effort
The one-sided relationship will always fail, sooner or later. One user shared this: “She was putting in zero effort and realized that she was just ‘going through the motions’ and decided she wouldn’t put in any effort. I had spent the better part of 10 months making her feel special, like a queen, doing things she loved. With zero effort from her.”
Validating Seeking
While we all have our insecurities, women often seek validation from their partner, which is fine on occasion – but all the time? Nope.
“If you require a damn compliment every 10 minutes when you start to feel insecure again, it’s going to get old. I am with you in a relationship. It is OBVIOUS that I am attracted to you physically and emotionally.”
No Chill
While it’s cool you want to do stuff, everyone needs their downtime, and it’s okay to just chill as a couple without needing to fill every minute of every day with activities. One guy weighed in on this: “All week I’m like ah Saturday, I have no plans going to get up, go for a bike ride, water all the plants and clean, while listening to a podcast and then top off the day with some video games. Only be told, ‘Hey, my sister’s boyfriend’s cousin is having a party for her 1 yr. old’s birthday tomorrow, and I told them we’d make it. I’m busy getting the food and cake made, so after work, can you run to the store and pick out a gift?’”
Overthinking
One shared said: “Excessive hesitation and overthinking. Instead of optimizing settings or preventing bad scenarios, it tends to create a bad time.”
Ladies, stop chewing on problems that don’t exist. Speak up if something is on your mind.
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