Alright, y’all, we need to talk about something important today. There are some things that the Brits do that Americans need help understanding. From the strange lingo to the questionable food choices, some British things leave Americans scratching their heads. But fear not, because in this article, we’ve got a list of comments straight from the source: Brits explaining what it is that their American friends can’t wrap their heads around. So grab a cuppa and get ready to learn a thing or two about the quirkier side of British culture.
Food Choices
“Beans on toast.”
“Beans have earned a place on my breakfast plate… Give it a trying morning after a bbq, and use those leftovers.”
“I actually tried this not too long ago, and it was delicious.”
Sports Time
“Cricket.”
“All of it. I’d wager a very tiny % of Americans have ever even seen one cricket match, whether live or televised. Fewer have ever even played the game or seen a cricket bat firsthand. Anecdotally, I’m 53, and I’ve never.”
What’s Up?
“My British in-laws: Y’alright? Me, an American: umm, yes?”
“We’re not concerned; the correct response is just a cheery “O’reyt!” in return. It is just a greeting; under no circumstances describe how you feel. Acceptable exceptions are: “Living the dream” – whilst carrying out a mundane task. “Can’t complain” – depths of depression/in agonizing pain/on end-of-life care.”
Crazy Crumpets
“Da heck is a crumpet?”
“It’s nothing like a biscuit, first of all. It’s both spongy and doughy, with air holes for the jam to go in. They’re nice.”
“So is that kinda like what we call an English muffin in the States?”
“Almost. When you bake a crumpet, you pour the dough into a ring (the kind of ring Americans cut biscuits with), whereas for an English Muffin, the dough holds its shape. Both have lots of nooks are crannies and are really a holding vessel for butter/jam/jelly.”
Rhyming It All
“At a guess, Cockney rhyming slang.”
“So unless we plan on doin’ this job in Reno, we’re in Barney. …Barney Rubble? Trouble!”
“Try the Glaswegian version!”
So Wasted
“In Amsterdam, why do Brits get completely drunk – on alcohol – in Amsterdam?”
“Brit here. Sadly this isn’t isolated to Amsterdam. Any city, any country, anywhere there’s a pub or a bar, it’s drinking time.”
On the Left
“It’s much easier to draw your sword to defend yourself from the left side of the road.”
No Laundry Room
“Brits, what’s with the washer in the kitchen? I don’t mean the dishwasher. I mean, the clothes washer. Do laundry rooms not exist in the UK? Why the kitchen? Are dryers just a bonus?”
“We have the smallest housing in Europe and don’t have enough space for a dedicated utility/laundry room. The kitchen has water and a drain. Dryers are indeed a bonus (see my post on Britons seeing basic technology as a luxury), and few have space for one or can afford the energy to run one. Often you’ll have a washer/dryer in one, but you need to take half the clothes out to run the dryer, or people will hang their washing indoors on racks leading to mold or outdoors on a washing line or rotary line if we have a garden.”
Getting Out
“Leaving the EU.”
Glorious Chicken
“Please explain Cheeky Nando’s.”
English Rights
“As an American, I’ve always been confused by the way Britain has both a tradition of “the rights of an Englishman” combined with strong authoritarian tendencies. How has it retained such incompatible trends at such relative strengths for so long?”
“It’s not a coincidence that Orwell wrote 1984. Or that London is the most surveilled city in the world.”
Queuing For Tea
“As a Brit myself, I think Americans struggle with the concept of queuing and the importance of a good cup of tea.”
“No, we don’t have any problem with lining up. Do you want to see an instant fight break out in the US? Cut in line.”
Self-Hate
“Some Brits have a huge self-deprecation sense of humor. It’s more of a Midlands/Northern thing in the UK, but it can really mess with Americans’ heads. We would rather blame and laugh at ourselves and our leaders than other people or countries for any wrongdoing. We also apologize a lot but secretly judge stupid actions.”
Mr. Blobby
“How the hell do y’all just let that Mr. Blobby abomination exist? That thing needs to be burned at the stake.”
“To me, he’s nightmare fuel. To my fellow Englishmen, he’s a national treasure.”
Proper Words
“How to swear properly. For Brits, it is like poetry. I’m kind of jealous of their skill.”
“The accent is a big part of it. We Americans just can’t say certain words right for it to portray the same emotion.”
Deep History
“Most Americans don’t understand the Deep History present throughout Britain. Long barrows; henges; freakin’ Druids; Roman forts; bog mummies; finding ancient treasure with metal detectors; swords in rivers; neolithic settlements; etc.”
“There are also pubs in the USA older than the USA, but your point is still taken.”
The Right Name
“Great Britain, the United Kingdom, England. What’s what?”
“The majority of Americans I have talked to about it do not understand the difference between the UK and England, sorry Scotland and Wales (I didn’t forget you, Northern Ireland, but I’d have to explain to the Americans the difference between Northern Ireland and Ireland so that’s even harder for them).”
DUI
“The phrase “drink driving.” Unless they also say “drink” to mean “drunk.”
Getting Hot
“Electric tea kettles.”
“You mean electric kettles.”
“See? We don’t understand… but for clarification, I use mine for hot water for ramen as well. Thanks for the fix.”
Multiple Problems
“Look, you can keep your unnecessary u’s, but please start consistently dropping the o from “maneuver,”
Also, how is Northern Ireland going to be handled in Brexit? Is there just going to be an EU border going through the island of Ireland? Mainly because it seems Scotland and Northern Ireland wanted to stay in the EU more than England.
So you don’t have AC everywhere. Okay. But why do so few windows have screens to keep bugs out (and cats in)?”
So Funny
“Sense of humor… Americans don’t get the subtlety that infects and defines the best of British comedy.”
“Our east coasters would fight you over that remark.”
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