A popular book by radio talk show hostess Dr. Laura Schlessinger gathered together several ways in which men can screw up their lives. These were taken from personal accounts of guys who rang into her show. We can all tend to do stupid things that can potentially ruin our lives. Yet, that doesn’t mean we can’t change our ways. But before changing, we must be aware of our own (and other people’s) stupidity. Wisdom is to learn from the mistakes of others. To help you, here are 18 stupid things men do that can potentially mess up their lives.
The Pizza’s Ready
“Knew a dude who said ‘oven mitts are for losers!’ and then proceeded to grab a hot pizza tray out of the oven barehanded.” Not only are there burns on your hands to take care of, but the dropped pizza also needs cleaning up. The long-term effect of grabbing hot trays is you can lose the feeling in your hands thanks to permanent nerve damage.
Geronimo!
“Jump off a balcony onto an uneven, rocky hillside. The first time he did it, he only got a few scrapes. The second time, he broke his leg and wouldn’t admit he needed medical attention until 24 hours later when he passed out from the pain.” The rocks didn’t look that dangerous.
Your Drinks Are Coming
“Coming from a server. Man literally said he didn’t need or want help. (maybe he didn’t want to share the tip? Who knows, bro) anyway, carried 15 drinks on one tray with TWO full coffee pots and broke every single glass. Did not see that man after that shift. Tried to do this all with one hand.” Doing stupid things at work to show how awesome you are can cost you your job.
Gator Aid
“Try to ‘ride’ an alligator.” Be ready to lose a limb or worse as the alligator takes you for a swim.
Mind the Manatee
“A friend in Florida told me about their Florida man who saw a manatee lying on the edge of a river. Seeking to show off, he jumped from the bank above, 4-5 feet up, and tried to land on its back. What he didn’t know is it was dead and bloated. He basically pierced it in the center, landing on the bottom of the river. It was all over his face when he stood up to scream.” Don’t mess with a manatee, whether alive or dead. They are a protected species; you pay the price if you’re as ignorant as the above guy.
Let’s Set This Alight
“Light his arm on fire with lighter fluid. He had to have skin grafts.” Please, don’t try this!
Snort This
“I once knew a person who in college (that’s UK college, not US college), who would legit snort anything that people dared him to snort just to see their effects on him. A list of things he snorted off the top of my head: salt, pepper, sugar, cookie crumbs, basically any spice in dust form people could get their hands on, various liquids, and pretty much anything else you could crumble up. The cookie crumbs were the worst out of all of them, weirdly for him. Dude looked like he was going to die after snorting those.” Men only snort medically approved substances.
That’s a K.O.
“Get knocked out on purpose.” Being knocked out can result in permanent memory loss as well as irreversible behavioral changes.
He’s Down!
“Purposefully get kicked in the behind. I remember when I was in college, frat boys played this game called Rochambeau, where two guys squared off, and each took a turn kicking the other in the nuts. Whoever lasted the longest ‘won.’” This type of fun activity can lead to infertility issues. Yep, you can forget about becoming a father (unless you adopt).
Do you want a Piece of Me?
“I’ve worked as a bouncer. Drinking too much and picking a fight with me is waaaaay too common. And really stupid. They end up pepper sprayed and handcuffed, waiting for the police. Real manly looking.” You didn’t have a criminal record until now. Good luck with finding a great job.
I Need Another Drink
“Trying to outdrink his friends. It just turns into a bunch of dudes all drinking more than they can handle and ruining their night and sometimes ruining everybody else’s night, too.” Drinking beyond moderation can lead to long-term health problems.
It’s Not That Cold
“The ‘I’m not cold’ guy and his cousin. The former likes to stand around outside in the snow in just a t-shirt and shorts, making fun of men dressed properly for winter. The latter thinks ‘real men’ aren’t afraid of sunburns or skin cancer and ridicules men who use sunblock. Both are equally stupid.” Both types of guys will eventually need a hospital appointment. Also, a part of their anatomy may be cut off either due to frostbite or cancer.
I’ll Be Safe
“Not wear a seatbelt.” It might be okay in your mind, but wait until the accident happens.
My Eyes Are Hurting
“Had two buddies have a competition to see who could look at someone welding for the longest. Both of them didn’t show up to school for a week or so.” Those welding masks are there for a reason.
My Leg Feels Warm
“Light his leg on fire with Axe body spray and sustained 3rd degree burns as a result. We all just talked about how stupid he was. But he wanted to show us how… Dangerous he was. It was funny. I will say that. I did laugh until I fell to the ground. Because he panicked and flailed after he lit himself on fire and jumped over a fence for no reason. There was no reason to jump a chain link fence to extinguish a fire. Then he complained for like two weeks how bad his leg hurt.” Refrain from purposefully setting any part of yourself on fire.
Why Wear One of Those?
“Not wearing a Helmet. Not one but all of them. People in my country think a helmet is for amateurs and to be used when around traffic police only. I tried it once; I got dust in my eyes and got allergies from dust. It also makes me uncomfortable to drive a bike without it.” If you fall off a bike at speed and hit your head on a semi-hard to a hard surface, you have the risk of sustaining life-altering brain injuries.
Let’s Have Babies. Oh, Hang On
“Does trying to prove your fertility count? Friend’s uncle couldn’t get his wife pregnant, refused to believe he had a problem, accused his wife of being barren and got divorced to marry his younger girlfriend, couldn’t get her pregnant, and then found out he was infertile. And Then!! Tries to get his ex-wife back when his girlfriend left him, but his ex-wife tells him she is pregnant with triplets with her younger, doting husband. The uncle really thought he had a chance with her again.” Some guys just don’t realize how their ignorance and desire to be a father can ruin lives.
Help Me!
“Jumped into the pool when I didn’t know how to swim. Learned how to swim out of sheer will that day.” It worked out well for this guy. Other guys may not be so lucky.
Please Stop and Think!
Guys can do some sad things when they are trying to prove their manliness. At the time, it may seem fun and exciting. Spontaneity can be significant within limits. Yet, take time and think of the longer-term issues that may arise. Don’t fall into the trap of having to show your buddies how masculine you are. Also, there is no need to cave into peer pressure. A moment of stupidity is all it takes to mess up your life.
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