OP and his wife have been together for ten years, married for seven, and have faced many challenges, including family illnesses, deaths, and a difficult birth for their daughter. One common struggle they both share is their weight issues. OP’s wife has always been heavier, while he has struggled with weight since quitting wrestling in college. They have tried several diets and exercise routines with varying degrees of success.
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The Background
After their daughter’s first birthday, OP’s wife suggested they try the keto diet. OP fell in love with the lifestyle and lost 110 pounds in a year, keeping off 80 of it since then. However, his wife lost some weight but regained it and has tried various diets, including keto on and off several times. Now, she wants to try going vegan after watching a documentary and receiving advice from her psychologist.
While OP fully supports his wife in trying the vegan diet, he does not want to give up his keto diet, which has drastically improved his energy levels, moods, health, and abilities. He has told his wife that he will make accommodations for her meals, but he does not want to go vegan himself. His wife got upset, claiming he would be tempting her and possibly causing her to fail by bringing non-vegan food into the house.
OP loves his wife and wants to support her in any way he can, but he does not feel comfortable giving up his successful way of eating. He wonders if he is in the wrong for not wanting to go vegan with her while she tries to lose weight.
You Have Your Path
Redditors have generally backed the OP in the fact that they do not have to do exactly as their wife does:
“Your wife has no right to insist you change your diet because she wants to. You’ve dieted and exercised together in the past, but that doesn’t always mean you have to do so now.
Keto is working for you, and part of losing or maintaining weight is eating food that’s both good for you and that you enjoy.”
This comment suggests that the keto diet is working well for OP, so there is no reason to change it. If he has had marked health and life improvements, then there is no reason to change his routine to fit his wife’s.
Although they have been good diet and exercise partners in the past, there is no reason to continue that pursuit. Each person has the right to choose a particular lifestyle, so OP should have no shame in doing what is best for him.
She is Being Unreasonable
There are a lot of people in the thread who are adamantly against the OP succumbing to their wife’s wishes.
“NTA. Your wife is being unreasonable: if she can’t control herself around meat, she isn’t able to stick to a vegan diet long-term anyway. You are offering a workable compromise, and you aren’t obligated to adopt a massively different lifestyle.”
This reasonable suggestion notes that OP and his wife have had a difficult time finding a lifestyle and routine that works for them in the past. OP has found the right path for them and should stick to it.
Additionally, OP’s wife has a track record of not following the diets that they adhere to for very long. There is an excellent chance that they will both become vegan and then the wife will stop dieting and leave the OP dissatisfied and angry, changing his diet for no reason.
Avoiding the Problem
“NTA You’re supporting her plenty while having found the diet that works for you. A dieter’s temptation is always a problem they need to face themselves, not burden others with.”
As reasonable as this comment is, it can be pretty damning to the OP. They may well be correct that OP’s wife is trying to deflect responsibility for their diet onto OP and not take on the heavy responsibility themselves. Hopefully, OP will manage to find a balanced resolution to their complex problem.
HIS MORAL STAND AGAINST DISCRIMINATION LEFT HIS FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW REFUSING TO ATTEND HIS WEDDING.
Source: Reddit