OP, a 27-year-old man, was advised by his doctor to lose weight as he was pre-diabetic and at high risk of cardiovascular disease. He worked out 5 days a week for 2 years and got into shape. During this time, he met his girlfriend, a 26-year-old former rock climber, at the gym, and they started dating.
However, after they got into a relationship, his girlfriend stopped being physically active and gained weight. She went to the doctor and was told to lose weight, but she didn’t make an effort to go to the gym. She then asked OP to help her eat healthier, and he spent a lot of time making healthy meals for her.
However, she wasn’t losing weight, and OP later found out that she had been eating sweets and junk food behind his back, including jars of Nutella. When OP confronted her about this, she accused him of fat-shaming her and started crying. OP told her that he couldn’t help her if she wasn’t willing to help herself.
Honesty Can Hurt
There is a reason OP is writing in this forum. He is acting out of necessity for his partner to get healthier. However, OP knows that it is a sensitive subject for most people, understanding that he has offended her by asking her to try to go to the gym and lose weight.
However, it is part of an essential topic among couples. Honesty in a relationship is crucial because it builds trust and fosters open communication. Honesty can help to establish a strong foundation for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. However, honesty can also hurt in the short term, especially if the truth is difficult to hear. This is particularly true in this case as OP’s partner asked for advice, so they should be ready for a real answer:
“She asked you for advice. You gave her advice. She’s mad at you for it.”
Sometimes, people are afraid to be honest because they fear hurting their partner’s feelings or damaging the relationship. However, not being honest can ultimately lead to more hurt and damage.
Being honest can be challenging, especially when the truth is difficult to hear. However, it is essential to be truthful to your partner to build a strong, healthy relationship. OP does not want to offend his girlfriend; he is simply trying to do what is best for her. He is bravely tackling a difficult topic that is ultimately designed to help him not hurt his girlfriend in the long run.
It’s Not Being Mean It’s a Doctor’s Advice
It is important for the OP to remember that he is not saying she is unattractive. He is simply listening to medical advice. He agrees with advice that he himself has had to follow to be healthier and reduce the risk of dangerous diseases.
“I don’t see what you did wrong. You’re agreeing with her doctor, and she did ask for your help anyway, so I’m confused why you would be the a** here?”
Here is an excellent example of what some of the commenters feel strongly about. They insist that he is doing the right thing and trying to get his partner into a healthy routine.
She used to be an athletic person who was heavily into fitness and climbing. Somewhere along the way, they both lost track of their health and became overweight. OP knows they can both reach a healthier weight and lifestyle.
Hopefully, She Will Calm Down
Ultimately, it is normal for people to react irrationally to begin with. We are all guilty of hearing harsh criticism and not accepting it as true but rather getting defensive and dismissive. In the time the girlfriend will likely begin to see science as she has already gone to the extent of asking for advice on meal plans, which is an acknowledgment of the problem in the first place. With any luck, she will already be on track to a healthier lifestyle.
Source: Reddit