A 34-year-old man has asked an online community if he was wrong for declining to forgive his parents’ many improprieties unless they paid him some cash.
He Was Kicked Out Of The Nest
He explains that his parents made it clear that once he graduated from high school, he was on his own.
“My parents expected me to be independent the minute I turned 18. They gave me the money they had saved up for my education and they started charging me rent.”
He Just About Landed On His Feet
He had a small nest egg to start his adult life.
“I was lucky enough to have a partial scholarship and I found a job in the city my university was in, so I moved there before the school year began. With my parents’ money, my scholarship, and my wages, I was able to scrape by.”
A Distant Relationship
Once he became an adult, he didn’t have much of a kinship with his folks.
“I rarely, if ever, spoke with my parents. I was kind of busy.”
He Noticed His Parents Treated His Younger Siblings Differently
His parents changed their tune when it came to their other children.
“I guess they decided that they didn’t want that kind of relationship with my younger siblings because they were not presented with the same option. They both lived at home all through university and even afterward.”
This Hasn’t Helped Their Already Strained Relationship
The hypocrisy hasn’t gone unnoticed.
“I am 34 now with a decent job and a great girlfriend whom I will marry this summer. I sent my parents and siblings an invitation. They called me to ask why they were not involved in the wedding.”
They Told Him He Should Get Over It
He doesn’t feel he’s in the wrong for not being very inclusive of his parents.
“I responded that they hadn’t really been part of my life in 16 years and that I was being nice by inviting them. They said that they acknowledged that they made mistakes when I was young but that it was in the past and that I should get over it.”
He Threw It Back In Their Faces
The man let his parents know he’d noted the difference in the treatment of the children.
“Against my fiancee’s advice, I sent them an itemized bill for everything I paid for myself that they freely gave my brother and sister. I said if they wanted to be a part of my life, they had to ante up.”
He Hung Up On Them
The parents said they couldn’t afford to pay him the money.
“They said they cannot afford that because they are still in debt from helping my siblings out. I laughed at that and said I hoped to see them at the wedding and hung up.”
Other Family Members Are Getting Involved And Are Trying To Guilt-trip Him
“My family are all getting a hold of me to let me know how much I’m hurting my parents.”
The Thing Is That I Don’t Want Their Money
“And I don’t want anything from them at all other than their attendance at my wedding. If they can’t do that, then I’m fine with our yearly phone call. Am I wrong?”
What Goes Around Comes Around
Some users stated that the bill might have been too far, but he was within his rights to feel the way he does. One user said, “Not the jerk. Maybe the itemized bill was a bit much, but I imagine it was cathartic for you. Your parents haven’t been around in a decade and a half. They have a lot of nerve to ask to be involved. Not being involved in your wedding is just reaping what they sowed.”
Others Disagreed With This
One user said the man was justified in demanding that money.
“I’m tired of this black-and-white view of being wrong. Sometimes, it’s perfectly reasonable to be unpleasant. Sending an itemized bill is one of those times.”
The Parents Are Disrespectful
Another member said, “Life is messy. People are messy. OP at least acknowledges the pettiness of the actions and owns it. Parents still haven’t graduated to actually apologizing for the favoritism, and now are actually making demands of OP because of a family event.”
Awful Parents
This user could relate: “As someone who was in the same situation (except it was my older brothers who had their way paid all through their undergrads, and I, the youngest and only female, was tossed to the wolves without even having healthcare, even though my parents both had PLENTY of money), OP is my hero for making that itemized list. I’m also a successful adult now and don’t want money from my parents, but I also don’t consider them parents, and I don’t owe them anything, in my opinion. Not the jerk! OP!!”
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