OP is a 15-year-old who recently joined a pseudo-militaristic group called Civil Air Patrol with their twin. Their father, who is a retired Army veteran, has been pushing them to be physically fit and proposed an arrangement where they could only attend CAP if they ran two miles three times a week. OP started putting effort into working out and improving their fitness level, but their father stopped them from running with the dog in the evenings, citing safety concerns.
The Workout
One day, when it was cold and rainy outside, OP texted their father to inform him that they did a workout in their room instead of running. However, their father got angry when they asked why they hadn’t run and claimed they should have worked out even if they didn’t run. When OP explained that they had worked out, their father wanted them to do cardio on an exercise bike instead of just working out at home.
Their father then asked what he could do to help OP do better, and OP suggested that they face the natural consequences of not working out if they want to develop self-discipline. However, their father disagreed and said that he only cared that they obeyed him. This led to an argument about whether intent and motivation matter, and their father made cutting remarks that minimized OP’s progress in running.
OP became frustrated and began crying, and their father accused them of gaslighting him. The argument escalated, and OP’s sister defended them while their father sent OP to bed, calling them immature, petty, and not worth talking to like an adult. They haven’t talked since, and OP acknowledges that they could have conducted themselves better during the argument.
He Is Being Too Harsh
Effectively everyone in the thread responded with sympathy for the young OP:
“NTA. So you’ve been running and regularly working out from ages 12-15 and wanted not to run because if rain, but still went and worked out, and your dad got mad? I do not understand the problem. Unless you are coming up with a different excuse every week (too cold, tired, busy, etc.) I’m not seeing the harm in missing a day every once in a while.”
This Redditor is trying to get to the bottom of the upset. The OP has been forced to be physically fit since they were pretty young. Regularly running and exercising, as encouraged by their hardline father.
Therefore, The commenter makes the point that the argument seems way out of proportion if there was only one main incident in the last period where they decided not to run.
Intense training for years will inevitably encounter days where the conditions are not suitable, and it would be reasonable for people not to exercise for that reason.
The commenter believes that if the story’s facts are accurate, the father is in the wrong. They are the ones causing undue upset for what appears to be no reason.
There Are Some Control Issues
Again, if what the OP describes is relatively accurate, then there is an issue with the father and not the OP:
“NTA. Nothing you said/did in any way meets the criteria for “gaslighting.” It sounds like your dad has some serious control issues and is grasping at straws because he doesn’t know how to handle you standing up for yourself.”
Clearly, the story does not add up to any ill intent from the OP. They were voicing their views and acting reasonably.
Moreover, it comes across as if the father is simply far too controlling for what appears to be no reason. It is a concern that the household may face some issues if the kids have to deal with an overly harsh father figure. Hopefully, the father can stop being so stubborn and try to regain some respect from his kids rather than fear.
HIS STONE COLD GREED. WIFE TRAGICALLY LOSES HER PARENTS BUT HER HUSBAND DEMANDS INHERITANCE
Source: Reddit