When an engaged couple plans their wedding, there are many details to attend to, such as the location, the guest list, what food to serve, etc. One of the most contentious issues can be the assigned roles in the ceremony. A bride-to-be, I’ll call Nicole, is dealing with a situation regarding who she wants to have a role in her wedding.
A Somewhat Blended Family
Nicole’s dad passed away when she was eight years old. She has a twin brother and an older sister. Their mom met their future stepdad when Nicole was nine and married him when she was 11. Early in the marriage, he was disappointed that his stepchildren didn’t call him their dad and that he would not enjoy the close relationship that he imagined.
Stepdad Dreams
He hoped they would treat him as a mentor and someone they would seek guidance from. While Nicole and her siblings accepted his presence, they usually relied on male relatives from their dad’s side for mentoring and direction. Nicole has always viewed him as her mom’s husband, not a father figure. She cares about him because he makes her mom happy and treats her well.
A Wedding Hitch
Nicole and her fiancé are planning their wedding. They decided to have a smaller, intimate ceremony that would be sentimental in many ways. She asked her dad’s brother to walk her down the aisle. Nicole’s grandparents will do a spotlight dance with her in honor of her dad. Her father’s sister will give a speech that Nicole’s dad had written before he died. Since Nicole’s mom prefers to stay out of the spotlight, the only attention on her mom will be when the newly married couple hands out gifts to the bride’s and groom’s parents, including Nicole’s stepdad.
Assigned Roles
While her dad’s family has roles in her wedding, Nicole’s stepdad does not; neither does anyone in his family. Nicole has only met her stepdad’s extended family a few times and doesn’t consider them part of her family. Her stepdad wasn’t happy that he would not carry out any traditional father-of-the-bride duties and that his family didn’t have any role in the ceremony. To keep from making the situation worse, Nicole invited his family to the wedding as guests only.
Who’s Family?
Nicole’s stepdad told her that his family was just as important as her dad’s, and he didn’t like how she treated them, as if they were not a part of her family. He also told her that it would be evident that preferred relatives had prominent roles in the wedding. Nicole replied that she wouldn’t change her plans and regretted if he was unhappy.
Fair or Unfair?
Her stepdad called her rude and said she should be more accommodating since he’s her parent. Nicole told him he was not her parent. She again refused to include his family in her wedding ceremony. Her stepdad insists she is unfair, and his sisters are upset with her. Nicole asked users from an online discussion board if she was wrong, and they made their opinions known.
Can’t Force Feelings
A participant on the thread says that her stepdad can’t force her to feel something towards him that she doesn’t. Understandably, he sees himself as her father figure after so many years. Still, if those feelings aren’t reciprocated, they just aren’t. He needs to accept that.
It’s Her Wedding
Someone else feels Nicole is being friendly by inviting her stepdad’s family. It’s her wedding, and her stepdad is trying to make the day all about him and his family. He expected to waltz into her life and instantly become her new dad. Since that didn’t work, he’s trying to push himself into her wedding.
Her Choices To Make
It’s her wedding, so it’s her choice, a person in the discussion affirms. Nicole’s stepfather shouldn’t try to push himself or his family into central roles in her wedding. It’s not their place to tell the bride what they want. She’s thought of some beautiful ways to honor her father’s memory. Hopefully, stepdad doesn’t bring that negative energy to the wedding day.
Just His Imagination
It starts with how her stepdad imagined things when he married Nicole’s mom. He imagined having a close relationship with his stepchildren, but that didn’t materialize. He also imagined his family would become a significant part of his stepchildren’s lives, but they’re not. He’s still trying to pretend there’s a closeness between them that isn’t there.
Cold as Ice
Several people disagree with Nicole’s treatment of her stepdad, with one saying, “Of course he is hurt. She is one cold woman.” They feel sympathy for him because he wasted years of his life trying to be a father figure to Nicole, and she can’t even acknowledge him or his family at her wedding. It’s her wedding, and she can do as she pleases, but it doesn’t mean she’s right.
Good and Bad
A bride-to-be in the discussion is planning their nuptials and observes how weddings have a funny way of making people realize that they wish they were closer to others. This feeling can be both good and bad for everyone involved.
He Sold the Family Home for Three Times What He Paid for It, but Now His Siblings Are Demanding a Share of the Profit
A man bought his two siblings out of their share of the family home when their mother passed away. Now he’s sold the house for three times the amount he paid for it, and his siblings are demanding a cut.
This Groom Invited His Ex-Girlfriend To His Wedding, But When She Showed Up In Suspenders He Had His Regrets!
Recently, a couple decided to have a micro wedding with just their immediate family, around ten people. They chose a venue known for holding significant events, but they hired a smaller room there.
This Groom Invited His Ex-Girlfriend To His Wedding, But When She Showed Up In Suspenders He Had His Regrets!
He Was Blinded by Love, Until He Learned About His Romanian Wife’s True Motives
In a tale fraught with deception and vengeance, a man recently divulged his experience of unmasking his Romanian wife’s infidelity and orchestrating a chain of events that ultimately led to the revocation of her Greencard, laying bare her hidden agenda.
He Was Blinded by Love, Until He Learned About His Romanian Wife’s True Motives