A man was ashamed of his partner’s mastectomy scars when she dressed as a character from an anime movie at a convention.
She Had Breast Cancer
The man shared that his 24-year-old girlfriend had a double mastectomy when she was 19 after her breast cancer diagnosis, which she thankfully made a full recovery from.
“Unlike many women, she didn’t have any reconstructive surgery. This was before I met her.”
Anime Con
The sharer is a confessed “huge anime nerd,” and when an anime convention headed to his town, the pair planned on going.
“She works seasonally as an SFX artist at a haunted house near us, so when I asked her to go to the con with me, she asked if she could cosplay, and I said sure. She got very excited and said I was going to love her costume, so I’ll admit I thought she was going to do something special for me.”
It Wasn’t What He Had In Mind
When the day of the convention rolled around, the sharer was taken aback by his girlfriend’s costume.
“She showed up at my house cosplaying Dabi from MHA – specifically, a look he has later in the manga. It’s a long white coat over white pants, no shirt. Her entire chest was exposed, and she’d obviously spent hours applying burn makeup; she has short hair that she dyes constantly. This time she bleached it white and dyed a few red streaks.”
Her Chest Was Exposed
Some of the burn prosthetics covered her chest but left one of her mastectomy scars visible.
“I wasn’t expecting her to show up without a shirt. It wasn’t a very attractive costume, especially since she’d gone all out with the scars and made them look raised and kind of realistic.”
People Were Looking
The man said that the costume had a mixed reaction among attendees.
“We went to the con, and while a lot of people came up to take photos with her, I noticed several others looking at her chest.”
Embarrassment
He had trouble hiding the way he felt, and his girlfriend noticed.
“That evening, she said I’d been quiet all day, and I honestly told her I was a little embarrassed that she was flaunting her mastectomy scar like that. She got mad and said she was making the best of her situation and said I was being insensitive, and she’s been distant ever since.”
He’s Feeling Guilty
The man headed to an online community to ask if he was wrong for feeling embarrassed and admitted he’d started to feel guilty.
Here’s what the community had to say.
They Called Him Out
Users were not impressed with the man. One user shared this.
“Oh, how dare your GF not have a pretty little cosplay outfit. Obviously, she has not gotten the message that her only worth is if she caters to the male gaze. Yeaaa. YTA.”
Selfish
One user pulled him up on his choice of words: “‘For me’ being the key phrase here. Told me everything I needed to know about him.”
Another said this, “I was sold on OP being TA with ‘she didn’t get reconstructive surgery like a lot of women do.’ I was fairly sure this post would be about that at that point. He’s into anime and wanted a revealing costume, then said aloud that she shouldn’t show the scars from kicking cancer away.”
Everyone Stuck Up For The Girlfriend
Needless to say, many of the users felt this man was not deserving of his girlfriend.
“Own. Your. Scars. OP doesn’t deserve this woman.”
Another had this to say, “Women like her are literally my heroes. She sounds awesome – and so does her cosplay! OP, dude, YTA. I hope this post is a wake-up call for you. She seems pretty amazing.”
Empowerment Vs. Shame
Many users ripped the man a new one for completely missing basic levels of empathy.
“I hope this is a wake-up call for HER to get out of this relationship! And think how many cancer survivors will see her and be empowered… while he cowers in shame, I guess.”
Her Courage Is Humbling
One user said this about the man’s awesome girlfriend, “I’m not even a cancer survivor, and I feel very empowered. I’ve also lost both friends and family to this disease, so this lady approaching this in such a wholesome, self-loving, confident, and fun way is just… too wholesome. She’s an inspiration for self-love.”
Nailed It
“[You’re] The type of anime fan that gives others a bad name. Her cosplay wasn’t for his attention. It was to express her love of the character. I’m telling you right now, if I were in his place, I would have loved to see how she looked as Dabi. Probably nailed the look, and her scars would’ve added to it.”
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