OP is a 30-year-old vegan who has been doing so for six years but has never pushed his views on anyone, including his girlfriend and family members who eat meat.
His Friend Wanted to Go to Meat Centric Place to Eat
Recently, OP invited an old friend, who wanted to go to a BBQ restaurant, to dinner. OP suggested vegetarian and vegan restaurants, but the friend was not happy with the idea. And insisted on going to a meat-centric restaurant.
OP Told His Friend He Would Not Pay for the Dinner
OP reluctantly agreed but told his friend that he would not pay for his meal. During dinner, OP ordered sides, while his friend had a premium quality ribeye steak that cost 50 euros.
His Friend Became Angry That He Wasn’t Paying
At the end of the meal, OP refuses to pay for his friend’s meal, causing his friend to become angry and accuse OP of being a bad friend. The two have not spoken since.
He’s Asking if He Was in the Wrong?
OP is questioning whether they were in the wrong for refusing to pay for their friend’s meal.
He Just Wanted a Free Steak
Various, rightfully skeptical readers are questioning the real intentions of the friend’s response to the situation.
“I mean c’mon. That clearly wasn’t a joke. He is just pretending not to understand because he wants to be a mooch and either split the bill or have OP buy them a steak. Hoping for a free steak honestly seems like their ulterior motive in suggesting a place like this rather than a vegetarian restaurant. They are not a friend.”
He Just Wanted to Satisfy His Needs
Steak restaurants are considered among the most expensive one can go to for a meal universally. Never mind that the restaurant didn’t serve meat. OP’s friend specifically brought OP to a steak restaurant to satisfy his needs.
He’s Not Really a Friend
It appears to be an apparent ploy, according to the commenter, that the friend was, in fact, no friend at all. They were deliberately trying to doop the OP out of their money to pay for their expensive meal.
He’s Doing It Deliberately
In this reader’s eyes, it would be impossible for OP’s friend not to be doing this deliberately. They have taken advantage of them and should face repercussions.
Generally, People Split the Bill
Generally, when people go out for a meal, it is acceptable to split the bill if they have had the same experience. Otherwise, there are some basic etiquette rules on how to deal with alternative scenarios.
You’d Normally Eat Dishes That Are the Same Price
“Even if you hadn’t ethical reasons or other reasons not to eat meat, it’s basic, common politeness – when splitting the bill – take dishes that are more or less equal in value.
Or Split the Bill Accordingly
“If I get a €7 pizza and a bottle of water, and another person gets a €35 and a Chardonnay, why should I pay for their expensive lunch?”
This commenter notes that regardless of the ethical reason for choosing a particular restaurant, the basic requirement to pay the bill takes precedence.
You Pay for What You Ate if Significantly Different Prices
They make an excellent comparison between two people at the same restaurant purchasing two entirely different options, which drastically impacts the end bill. In this case, it cannot be expected that the person who bought substantially less valuable items to pay for half of this bill.
It’s Basic Manners
Therefore, this issue is really just basic manners, regardless of the restaurant they were in. Each should pay their proportional fair share of the meal.
He Was Warned
Before OP and their friend entered the BBQ restaurant, OP made their intentions clear.
“NTA
You told him in advance. He doesn’t sound like much of a friend.”
They Discussed Paying the Bill Before – So He Planned the Argument
This is a very important point. The discussion about the bill was made before the meal, where they agreed that OP would not be paying half. Therefore, the argument at the end of the meal was almost certainly pre-planned in order to ensure that the OP would feel uncomfortable and pay for half of their friend’s expensive meal. As they note, it does not sound like much of a friend at all.
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