The man is estranged from his daughter due to his ex-partner’s actions following a tumultuous relationship. Years later, he refuses to take responsibility when his ex complains about their daughter’s behavior. She retaliates by requesting an income review to increase child support.
Let’s call him Leo.
How It All Started
Leo had an on-again, off-again relationship with his ex for two years until she became pregnant. Shortly after their daughter’s birth, she disappeared, leaving Leo for a new boyfriend. No one knew her whereabouts, not even her parents or family members.
Ex Reappears
Years later, Leo is paying child support at $125 bucks a week but cannot establish a meaningful relationship with his daughter due to his ex’s interference. Then his ex complains about their daughter’s behavior, and Leo refuses to take responsibility, sparking a heated exchange. And rightly so because over the years, Leo has had to beg and beg his ex to be able to take their daughter on vacation with his other kids or visit him at his house, and she always refused to allow it.
The Retaliation
Leo’s ex is apparently unhappy about his reaction to her complaint about their daughter. In retaliation, she requests an income review to increase child support. Curious about the timing, Leo contacts the court and speaks to the same agent who handled his case years ago.
The Good News
Discovering that the review was not due yet, Leo questions the sudden interest. A month later, he receives a letter stating that his ex failed to provide the required information; consequently, she forfeits the current review and the next one. This means that child support will end by the time their daughter turns 18.
Reverse Revenge
Unbeknownst to his ex, Leo’s income has significantly risen, and she would have received a substantial increase in support over three years, potentially totaling over $30,000. Thus, her attempt to be petty backfires, and Leo ultimately finds a sense of revenge in the situation.
He’s Been Magnanimous
This occurred when Leo’s daughter reached 15 and started living with her grandparents full-time. Leo noticed that the child support he provided to his ex did not directly benefit his daughter. So, Leo would give her money on special occasions like holidays and her birthday to support his daughter directly.
Fund Misappropriation
It appears Leo’s ex wasn’t very honest with the money she received. There was one instance when she asked him for money specifically for their daughter. Leo generously gave her $600, intending it to be used to buy a computer as a Christmas gift. However, instead of fulfilling that purpose, his ex used the money to pay off her layaways for Christmas presents for her other two children and excluded Leo’s daughter from receiving the intended computer. Unfortunately, his daughter remained unaware of the money Leo had given, and she did not receive the computer she was supposed to have.
Why Didn’t Leo Sue?
“Why didn’t Leo sue for custody and visitation?” asked a curious commenter on the forum. Leo clarified that the issue required a substantial sum of $20k or more to pursue any meaningful legal action. The offerings at the friend of the court for free are somewhat limited. In Leo’s words, “Courts do little to nothing to enforce parental visitation rights. Just endless mediation and court dates.”
Is The Stage Set Against Men?
According to one user, this stage is stacked against males, and proving that an opponent is a narcissist is impossible. They only care about quantifiable information such as numbers and statistics, implying that the system favors mothers over fathers.
Men Don’t Fight Enough
“You are spreading false information that is harmful.” Another person responded, explaining that, statistically speaking, judges in custody dispute FAVOR the father if the father appears and fights. However, most men choose not to appear in court because they don’t want custody or because they believe they have no chance after hearing untrue assertions like “courts favor women.”
Did Leo Take The Easy Way Out?
Many people continue to maintain that Leo didn’t go the extra mile to be with his daughter. One commenter claims that Leo went with the simple solution and blames his ex for keeping his kid from him. Another individual argues that it’s unlikely Leo could afford legal representation if Leo had the resources to pay $600 for a computer. He acknowledges that the procedure is challenging and expensive but argues that fighting would have been worthwhile.
The Lesson
One person believes that this narrative has many lessons for younger males. His advice to the younger males is to avoid getting married and having children if they can help it. “Because the odds are against you if/when things go wrong, regardless of the real situation, you will most likely come up on the bottom.”
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