A seemingly caring wife is dismayed at her husband’s anger towards her for attending his medical appointment. What is the problem with that?
Well, it turns out she had asked her husband if he wanted her to come along, and he said no, that would not be necessary. Nevertheless, the original poster (OP) on Am I The A**hole (AITA) was worried about her husband’s ongoing health issues. I wanted to go along to support him.
Her husband, who wanted his session with his doctor to be private, was shocked when his wife walked into the office and introduced herself. She was so annoyed the husband did not make eye contact with his wife or speak to her during the appointment.
After leaving the doctor’s office, the OP said her husband “went off on me,” accusing her of following him and not respecting his wishes for privacy.
The OP insisted that she was ok to act this way as he was his wife and that her husband was overreacting. In her opinion, she could not possibly be the a**hole. It turns out that she is wrong and that people think she was most defiantly the a**hole.
One poster did not hold back, saying, “You don’t have the right to invade your husband’s privacy after he requested to go alone. A signed piece of paper doesn’t give you the right to stalk your husband. You have zero respect for him.”
It is common for people to attend doctors’ appointments with their spouses, and in some cases, it is advised for additional support. However, it was clear in this case that the husband wanted to go alone.
It begs the question that if the wife was this pushy attending the appointment, did she take it over? Which is maybe why the husband did not want her to participate in the first place.
People quickly pointed out that she would not be happy if this were the other way around, and the husband was invading his wife’s privacy.
One person commented, “100%. If this were a man interrupting his wife’s appointment, there would be questions around coercion and domestic abuse”. Another bluntly said, “He is your husband, not your child.”
Other users picked up on some insecurities that the wife may have been displaying, picking up on a joke she made about the doctor being a woman. That was why she was not allowed to go along to the appointment.
One person noted, “I get the feeling OP wasn’t joking when she asked him if his doctor was a woman.” Later in the post, the OP stated that the doctor was indeed a man (“LOL”), reiterating that this may have been a worrying niggle for her.
Most people concluded that the wife needed to learn to maintain boundaries within their relationship, respecting her husband’s wishes. One went further, stating, “For quite a few people in the husband’s place, this would cause them to produce a different signed document. One that makes the first one invalid.” Harsh!