A mother-of-two was recently conflicted between attending her son’s high school graduation and her daughter’s college graduation. But here’s the thing – they don’t coincide.
The Background
A 43-year-old mom has a daughter, May (21), and a son, Luke (17).
“May’s father and I split shortly after she was born, and I met my now husband when she was about a year old. Due to work and life circumstances, May primarily stayed with her father but visited us on the weekends when she was younger.”
Her Daughter Is A High-Achiever
The woman says that May is incredibly bright, has an AA, is about to graduate with a BA, and has been accepted into a Master’s program in the fall.
“I’m so proud of her, I can’t say that enough.”
The Predicament
Luke is about to graduate from high school, which takes place a few days after her daughter graduates with her degree.
“We don’t live very close by anymore, so it would be back-and-forth flights, which just doesn’t feel practical. Since May is getting another degree, I’ve told her that I’ll attend her next graduation, but this time, I’m just going to attend her brother’s since graduating high school is such a big step.”
May Was A Bit Upset – But Not As Much As Her Father
The woman shared that May understood but was still upset that her mom wouldn’t be attending.
“My ex called me later and told me that I wasn’t considering May’s feelings in the slightest. Her HS graduation in 2020 was canceled due to lockdown, then her ceremony for her AA was virtual for the same reason, so now that she’s finally having one, my not going has really hurt her.”
She Could Attend Both
She told her ex that she would be there for May when she graduates from her MA program and that she felt it was more important to be there for her son.
“He says that it’s more than possible for me to come to see her graduate and then fly back in time to see my son do the same. My thing is that yes, it’s possible, but it isn’t practical.”
She Feels Conflicted
May admitted she was upset and had vented to her father but apologized for making it “an issue.”
“I don’t know how to feel about this now. Am I wrong here?”
She Needed Answers
The woman logged on to a popular online forum to ask if she was in the wrong here.
Voters agreed on one thing.
Practicality Is Irrelevant
Users agreed the woman was wrong for insisting she couldn’t attend both graduations when it is clearly possible she could.
One user shared this: “YTA… it isn’t fair to pick between your son and daughter. If it’s possible to go to both, then you should. Even if it doesn’t seem practical. My other question is, why is it even relevant to which parent she grew up with primarily? Both are your children. It shouldn’t matter if she grew up with her dad.”
Golden Child Syndrome
One user suggested possible favoritism.
“The fact that OP is blaming the practicality is BS. She could go but literally just doesn’t feel like making the effort. I’m sure May is just telling her mother, ‘Oh, it’s ok,’ but is extremely hurt. I doubt this is the first time OP didn’t want to put in the effort for her daughter. Sounds like her poor daughter is just used to being second to the golden child brother.
May Got The Sympathy Vote
Some users felt bad for May. One user shared this: “Having to apologize for being sad is the saddest thing of all.”
Another agreed. “She’s the ‘starter kid.’ I’m sure it was made very clear to her that her half-brother would always come first. I 100% would not invite my mother to my master’s graduation if she pulled this crap with me.”
You Do What You Have To Do For Your Family
One user said, “I literally flew back home in the middle of my recent trip to give my cat medicine because the sitter couldn’t. I got home at midnight and left at 7 a.m.”
Someone replied: “I don’t know why, but your comment reminded me of the time David Grohl flew from Australia to LA in the middle of a tour to go to a Father/Daughter dance. That is loving your kid.”
The Excuses Are Flimsy
The situation wasn’t practical, but it was doable, and it should be non-negotiable. “Not practical at all, but you do non-practical things for your kids.”
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