The writer (F20) lives with her boyfriend (M21) and a male friend (M20), who has not contributed to any of the essential kitchen supplies, food, spices, or cleaning supplies, except for items specific to his diet. He frequently uses everything in the kitchen, including seasonings, foil, and parchment paper.
He does not replace them or buy cheaper, smaller versions of the items. He also uses the pans to cook meat and leaves them with grease or puts new parchment paper on top of dirty pans, causing them to rust.
He takes the silverware to work and other places and forgets them, causing them to go missing. The writer is considering taking everything out of the kitchen and boxing it up, so he can no longer use anything.
Understandably, the writer is frustrated with her roommate’s behavior. The roommate’s actions show a lack of consideration and respect for their shared living space and possessions. The writer has tried to address the issue with him. Still, he has not taken responsibility for his actions.
He has yet to attempt to contribute or replace what he has used. One Redditor commented, “NTA. Since he’s “not using” your stuff, why would he care if it all disappears?” The roommate should not use his stuff in the first place, let alone refuse to replace it- it’s simple roommate etiquette.
One Redditor states, “if you use something up, then you should be the one to replace it. Can’t afford to replace it? Don’t use it. I once had a roommate who used up a bottle of avocado oil that I bought and thought that a can of Pam spray was a proper replacement. Needless to say, we don’t live together anymore, lol.”
Although, there may be better solutions than taking everything out of the kitchen. It could create tension and resentment in the living situation and make it more challenging to resolve the issue in the future.
However, the problem will likely not improve independently; one Redditor comments, “you have to understand that this is not going to get better. He has shown you that he doesn’t care about you, your home, or the peace that should exist between you. You should believe him.”
Communication is usually the best approach. For example, you could talk to your roommate about the issue and explain how their behavior impacts you. You could also set clear boundaries about what is and isn’t acceptable when using shared items. Then, if the problem persists, consider more drastic measures, such as finding a new roommate.
Suppose his roommate keeps taking his kitchen stuff and not replacing it despite you speaking to him about it. In that case, there are a few things he can try to address the situation:
Set clear expectations
Please talk with your roommate and explain that you are not okay with them using your things without replacing them. Be clear about your expectations and see if you can agree on how to handle shared items in the kitchen.
Label your stuff
Try labeling your items with your name or some other identifier to clarify what belongs to you. This may deter your roommate from using your items and make tracking who is responsible for what is more accessible.
Keep your items in your room.
If the first two options don’t work, consider keeping your kitchen items in your room which your roommate won’t have access to. There may be more convenient solutions, but they could prevent further issues.
Ultimately, the key to resolving this issue is open communication and finding a solution that works for you and your roommate.
HIS MOTHER AND AUNT ARE BANNED FROM HIS WEDDING AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO HIS FIANCÉ
Source: Reddit