A woman recently asked an online community for refusing to compromise over a birthday cake.
Her Daughter’s Birthday Is Coming Up
The woman explained that her daughter was about to turn seven, and she wanted a peanut butter and chocolate cake for her party.
“I let my sister know not to bring my nephew (3) because of his allergy. (It’s so bad that he can’t even be near/breathe in peanut butter particles).”
Her Sister Asked Her To Change The Cake
That way, her son would be safe to attend the party.
“She asked if I would change the cake to be just chocolate so that my nephew could come. I said no that it was my daughter’s cake, and she can have peanut butter if she wants.”
She Called Her “Unreasonable”
Her sister expected her to compromise over the cake.
“She called me unreasonable because my daughter could have had peanut butter cake with her ‘friend party’ (she didn’t have cake with her friends; she just had pizza). She said that my daughter needs to learn to compromise for the sake of family. I told her that I would talk to my daughter but not to expect a seven-year-old to choose her baby cousin over her favorite cake.”
Her Sister Got Angry
“My conversation with my daughter played out just like I predicted, and when I told my sister, she called my daughter selfish and ungrateful. She said that I’m a bad parent because I ‘taught her to hate (nephew).’ She threatened that if my nephew wasn’t welcome, neither she nor her husband would come either. I said that was fine because she now wasn’t welcome either.”
They Have Fallen Out
Her sister refused to understand that her niece deserved to have the cake of her choice on her birthday.
“I reached out to my BIL to let him know what was going on and to tell him he was still welcome if he wanted to come. He thanked me but said he would stay home to support my sister. Her party came and went; my sister was still distant and cold. I wonder if I was too harsh to her and my nephew or too soft on my daughter.”
She Reached Out For Advice
The community reassured the woman that she certainly wasn’t being the jerk. One user said this:
“Sister lost all high ground when she started calling the seven-year-old selfish for wanting a birthday cake on her birthday.”
Her Sister Has A Questionable Attitude
A user pointed out several red flags in the sister’s behavior: “If anyone is teaching OP [original poster]’s daughter to ‘hate’ her cousin, it’s the sister. Forcing a young kid to give up their favorite cake on their birthday is an EXCELLENT way to sow resentment toward the person they’re doing it for. You’re not wrong, OP. You asked your daughter and respected her decision. You sound like a great mom.”
It’s Not His Day
Users expressed that the sister is the selfish one for expecting everyone to bend to her will – including the birthday girl.
“My son has a terrible peanut allergy. Instead of making everyone bend to him, I have taught him that not everything is about him and he may not be able to eat some things. I bring replacements, and he now knows what not to eat. This is what the sister needs to do. No one will ever be happy on their birthday if they have to make everything about the 3-year-old.”
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