A woman’s habit of ignoring strangers who try to talk to her in the city leads to a frightening encounter with a neighbor in the suburbs, causing a rift between her and her mother.
A Scary Encounter
Recently, a woman who had moved back home to take care of her mother, had a frightening encounter with a stranger while walking to the library. The woman was used to scary things happening as she used to live in the big city, but she never expected anything to happen in the boring old suburbs. It was just full of old boomers!
Ignore and Carry On
In the city, she was used to ignoring strangers who tried to talk to her, it was the only way to stay safe really. She knew that you had to keep your head down and keep walking to avoid any conflict, especially as a young woman. But in the suburbs, her mother’s friend thought it was inappropriate to ignore friendly neighbors.
“Hey You!”
As she was walking, a man in a front yard called out to her, but she kept walking. She didn’t even glance up to see who it was, as she wanted nothing to do with the weird encounter. Most men know better than to yell over to young women at night, surely?
Phone a Friend
When she walked by his yard, he started following her. She took out her phone and called her best friend, leaving a voicemail with her location and a description of the man following her. It seemed like the man overheard her phone conversation and got worried, as almost immediately afterwards he stopped following her.
He Posted Her
Later, her mother showed her a Facebook post from her neighborhood group. It was a picture of her from a distance taken by a doorbell camera. The young woman was a bit taken aback that someone had captured a photo of her on their camera, but it was the post that left her more concerned.
A Suspicious Person
The post said there was a “suspicious” person that the guy, a resident, tried to “greet” and who totally ignored him, then got on the phone describing where he lives, what he looks like, and was talking about having a bunch of guys in a truck come by. While this is kind of what happened, the guy who posted has fully taken it out of context and left himself looking like the hero, the young woman thought.
Her Mother Was Upset
The woman laughed and told her mother her side of the story, thinking she would find it funny. She explained that this guy yelled out to her after dark, and in the city, that always spells bad news. She didn’t want any conflict with her mother, so she did try and tell the story in a light-hearted fashion. However, her mother was upset and thought she had acted inappropriately.
Everyone Knows Everyone Here
She said that in the suburbs, people get to know and trust each other, and her mother’s friend was just trying to see if she was from around there and look out for the neighborhood. Her mother explained that she thought the suburbs were safe and there was no need to have an inner city attitude there. People were friendly, and if a man called out to you after dark, he’s to be trusted.
Bad People are Everywhere
The woman disagreed and said that people are people everywhere, and she wasn’t going to talk to someone who was acting like that. The young woman explained that some of the worst serial killers had lived normal lives in the suburbs, and no one had any idea until all their horrific crimes came to light. The young woman didn’t feel the need to engage with anyone acting inappropriately, especially after dark.
Don’t Follow Young Girls
She thought her mother’s friend was looking bad for following a girl who wasn’t trying to talk. She explained to her mother that she didn’t owe the guy anything. If she didn’t want to talk to him, he shouldn’t have tried to force it and follow her down the road. That was inappropriate, the young woman thought, and she didn’t want to feel forced to talk to anyone, resident or not.
A Bad Lesson
Her mother was upset with her, and equally, she was upset with her mother.
“Do you really want to be teaching your daughter to be talking with strangers who follow her down the street,” she said. “Okay, this was a misunderstanding, but most of the time, it’s bad news, and I ain’t doing that.”
The Internet Responded
This commenter wrote, “You are absolutely correct to be freaked out by someone following you when you did nothing wrong. (in fact, what you did was very street smart!)”
More Internet Comments
Another person said, “You don’t have to greet a total stranger if you don’t want to. Yes, some people will view that as rude, but they don’t get to dictate your actions.”
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