OP is an easygoing bride who is anxious about her cousin’s bizarre sense of style, which includes wearing numerous layers of clothing and unique accessories. OP asked her cousin to wear the bridesmaids’ dress without any extra styling for the wedding, but her cousin declined and accused OP of bullying her.
They Think OP Should Apologize
OP’s family thinks she should apologize, but OP just wants to be the center of attention on her special day and doesn’t want any unusual attire in her wedding photos.
The Cousin’s Refusing to Come
Although OP would be fine with her cousin attending as a guest and wearing whatever she wants, her cousin has refused to attend altogether.
It’s Her Day
Many commenters in the comment section are highlighting the main point that goes above all else; it is her wedding day. Typically a bride cares the most about the details of the wedding day, which include having requirements for particular elements of what will happen.
It’s an Honor
More specifically, several commenters have suggested that being a bridesmaid is an honor and comes with requirements to fit a bride’s expectations as standard:
“Not the jerk. If she is a bridesmaid, you don’t require a dress code for just her – you are asking her (like all of your bridesmaids) to stick to your dress code, which is pretty normal. I don’t see why you haven’t considered the option of her not being a bridesmaid but just a guest, though.”
OP Has Several Options
This writer makes it clear that the OP has several options and the authority to do as she likes, even to the extent of not allowing her to be a bridesmaid if she is unwilling to be a willing participant of the day.
Center Stage
Many in the comment section state that during the main section of the ceremony, the bride should have the most attention on the altar. Traditionally, everyone’s eyes are on the bride and groom as they conduct the marriage ceremony.
It’s a Reasonable Requirement
“Surprisingly, you’re not the jerk – she shouldn’t be dressing so flamboyantly and taking attention away from your partner and yourself. This is a reasonable requirement, and I say stick with it and just remove her from the wedding as she requested.”
Incredibly Selfish & Warrants Dress Code
This online user makes an excellent suggestion noting that OP’s cousin will be drawing attention away from the bride and the couple when they are at the altar. This would be incredibly selfish and warrants there being a dress code imposed on the cousin to ensure that the couple makes the best of the experience.
She’ll Look a Sight
This online thread pointed out the very important point that there is more to consider than just the ceremony:
“You’re not the jerk. Oh man, I’m sorry, OP, but I’m imagining a family photo with you all dressed up and lovely… with one bridesmaid with a furry hat and leggings on under her very normal dress, and I cannot stop cackling at the visual.
She’s Going to Humiliate Herself
“She’s going to humiliate herself if she does that. So no, you’re not wrong for saying no; she’s a bridesmaid, they all wear the same kind of thing, and usually, accessories are not of the fur variety. Or a hat even.”
The Bigger Picture
Looking at the bigger picture, it is clear that her cousin’s eccentricity could make an appearance throughout the day. This would cause an even bigger headache for the bride.
The Talking Point of the Day
She will likely be a talking point for the entire day and make a lasting impression by being the odd one out in all of the wedding photos.
It’s a Little Harsh
Some have shown greater sympathy to the cousin, suggesting that picking her out or excluding her is not the right way to go either:
“There are certain events that have a dress code, that’s just the way it works. If you were excluding her from the wedding as a whole you, or if the other bridesmaids had creative freedom except for her, sure you might be crossing the line.”
The Same Conditions as Whole Party
It is important for the OP to remain reasonable. If she ends up picking on the cousin for having a creative side to her, then it will not go down well with her or the rest of the family. She should largely be exposed to the same conditions as the rest of the wedding party.
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