Have you ever fallen into unexpected relationship dynamics, or maybe you’ve dealt with a partner whose worldview completely contrasts yours? You’re not alone; these things happen to everyone, and people need to vent, which is why we’re here. OP’s dilemma isn’t uncommon, but it isn’t uncomplicated either.
“My wife acts like a child!”
“For the past several months, she has been eerily acting like a child. I understand she’s playing with our daughter, but it seems weird to me to the degree that she plays the role.”
It’s clear that OP finds his wife’s lack of separation between fantasy and reality disturbing, and it appears as though he’s been playing along until recently, when his wife referred to herself as a princess, he snapped and told her “No, you’re not a princess, you’re an adult.” When their daughter jumped to her mom’s defense, OP just said, ‘Hmm hmm’ and nothing more; he didn’t want to have to explain to her why he said what he did.
So, was OP in the wrong here?
The verdict has divided the Reddit community. Some believe that OP is being way too harsh and controlling by not letting his wife have some fun with their daughter. They argue that it was just a game between his wife and daughter and that he should have referred to his wife as a queen instead.
“The only correct no response to ‘I’m a princess too’ was ‘No, you’re not, you’re a queen.’ YTA (You’re the a**hole).”
“YTA (you’re the a**hole). Way to spoil your wife’s fun with your daughter. How insecure and controlling are you? And I love how you ended this pathetic little tale with how “you don’t know if this makes you an a**hole.” I bet you do lots of a**hole stuff and claim ignorance afterward.”
With another Redditor advising that OP’s actions now will dictate his daughter’s view of him for years to come…
“OP, your wife is investing herself in your daughter’s imaginary play. Do you think your wife is delusional? Do you think she didn’t know whether she was a princess? Seriously, pull your head out, of course, she doesn’t really think she’s a princess. Fostering imagination has so many growth benefits which will help your daughter as she grows. Who cares if your wife is acting like a princess around your daughter? GET IN ON IT! You could be a princess too, and you could be a king, a queen, a sorcerer, a knight, a dragon – JUST BE SOMETHING!!!!!
Your daughter is changing every day. Every day she will get older, and then the games she once played will be gone. Every time you act like a sourpuss, you lose the opportunity to connect. Get rid of your ego, and stop trying to belittle your wife. Play; your inner child is waiting. Then apologize to your wife. YTA.”
While others have advised that OP stands his ground, and if this behavior makes him uncomfortable, it’s reasonable for him to voice that to his partner.
“NTA (Not the a**hole), too many adults acting like children nowadays, it’s a huge ick for me. Stand your ground, but I really don’t think this is the best place to ask, as it’s full of people who have never been in a relationship so would put up with almost anything just to have to touch of a woman. In real life, this is problematic, and you did the right thing.”
And others remained neutral to the situation and offered what appeared to be unbiased advice.
“YTA (you’re the a**hole) for snapping at her when she’s just trying to play with your kid.
But NTA (Not the a**hole) for being uncomfortable with childish role-play. That’s something that must be discussed with your partner. She may find out she’s into this stuff and trying to add you to her fantasy. It’s time for a serious discussion on that fact. Especially if it’s a hard line for you, give her grace, though, it sounds like she’s just figuring it out herself as it’s new.”
As we wrap up this discussion on unexpected relationship dynamics and the blurred lines between fantasy and reality, it’s worth asking ourselves: how do we balance the need for fun and playfulness in our relationships with the need for maturity and responsibility?
Source: Reddit