A 28-year-old woman shared in an online forum how rude her co-worker was – and how it ultimately escalated.
A Great Job
The OP has worked for a small software company for several years and loves her job.
“I have great coworkers, and the work environment is generally positive.”
One Rotten Apple
Everything had been going fine until about a year ago when a new woman joined the team.
“There is this one coworker, let’s call her Sarah (32F), who has been increasingly crossing boundaries.”
They Initially Got on Fine
At first, everything was fine between the OP and Sarah.
“We would have lunch together occasionally and chat about random things. I didn’t think much of it, and it seemed like a normal office friendship.”
She Noticed Sarah Using Her Things Without Asking
“Over time, I noticed that Sarah had started to use my belongings without asking for permission. For example, she would take my stapler, pens, or even my phone charger without asking. At first, I brushed it off as her just being forgetful and not realizing that these were my personal items. I tried to be understanding and not let it bother me.”
Things Started to Escalate
“One day, I brought in a special lunch I had prepared as a treat for myself. It was a dish that my grandmother used to make for me, and it had a lot of sentimental value. I had placed it in the fridge with a note clearly stating it was mine. When lunchtime came around, I discovered that Sarah had taken and eaten my lunch.”
She Confronted Her
The OP questioned the woman.
“I confronted her, and she apologized, claiming that she thought it was meant for the whole office to share. I didn’t buy it, but I let it go to avoid causing a scene.”
Sarah’s Behavior Continued to Get Worse
“She began using my personal laptop without asking, even though we all have our own work computers. She would also use my coffee mug and other personal items, despite having my name on them. I tried to address it politely and asked her to stop, but she would just laugh it off and say she didn’t mean any harm.”
Breaking Point
Finally, the OP had reached her limit.
“I had bought a new, expensive pair of headphones to use at work, and I had left them on my desk overnight. When I arrived the next day, I found Sarah using them at her desk.”
Enough Is Enough
“I was furious and asked her to hand them over immediately. She tried to play it off as a joke, but I had enough. I told her that it was not funny and that she needed to stop using my personal belongings without permission. I said it was disrespectful and a violation of my privacy.”
Everyone Heard the Drama
“The rest of the office heard the commotion, and some of my coworkers agreed with me, while others said I was overreacting and should let it go. Sarah hasn’t spoken to me since, and the atmosphere has become tense. A few co-workers have even suggested that I owe Sarah an apology for embarrassing her in front of everyone.”
So, Is She the Jerk for Telling My Coworker to Stop Using Her Personal Belongings?
The OP took to an online forum to ask if she was in the wrong.
The online community reassured her that she wasn’t in the wrong here.
Human Resources
Many, many of the comments from users insisted the woman go to HR and explain the situation.
“I would say, ‘I didn’t initially raise this issue when it was just pens and staplers but it has escalated to my personal laptop and even other more valuable/expensive personal items like my headphones’.”
The Lunch Theft Was Inexcusable
“Eating something that wasn’t hers (because she didn’t, you know, bring it in) and had someone else’s name on it. That would fall higher than the office supplies but comparable to the headphones.”
She’s a Liar
“Thought lunch was for the whole office to share and proceeds to eat it all (presuming it was just a single serve)? Not buying her passive-aggressive BS. Totes agree about taking it to HR.”
“The lunch theft was the hard line for me. She ate all of it but claims she thought it was for everyone to share. That’s a blatant lie.”
Bullying and Power-Play
Many users stated that they think Sarah is very calculating and is deliberately targeting the OP.
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