OP is getting married to her Spanish fiancé, whose family speaks perfect English but does not try to include her in their conversations. OP has learned to live with this but is upset with how her fiancé’s little sister treats her.
The sister always asks for quality time with her brother without OP, even when they are visiting Spain and OP has no one else to spend time with. The sister is also a smoker and refuses to smoke elsewhere when OP is present, even when eating together. OP was also told by her fiancé that the sister asked him not to bring OP on a family trip, saying that it would be better without her.
The sister has interrupted conversations between OP and her fiancé and advised him to break up with OP multiple times, spreading lies about her to the family. OP does not want to invite the sister to their wedding and wonders if she is the one in the wrong.
What About The Fiance
There appears to be a vital character in this story that is missing. Many in the thread have highlighted that the OP’s fiance is the person who is acting improperly:
“NTA You don’t have a future SIL problem or in-laws problem. You have a fiancé problem!
He should be asking the family to include you in conversations. He should ask his sister to keep away from you with her cigarettes.
He should have your back. He doesn’t.
Put this relationship on hold, at the very least. Reconsider it carefully.”
This sentiment is shared by a number of Redditors. The primary line between the nasty in-laws and the OP is her fiance. Therefore, they are asking why he is not a more prominent member of the story.
She is the one with the authority to have OP’s back. It is very unfair that she is being treated with such disrespect, and he seems to be doing nothing about it.
This is a comment on how the relationship will manifest in the future too. If he is unwilling to challenge his family’s behavior, then he is enabling, which will inevitably lead it to get worse.
OP Has To Take Responsibility
There is a small section of the thread that suggests that the OP should take some responsibility for what is happening. It is not that they are suggesting that she is to blame for their terrible actions but for remaining in the ongoing situation:
“Why are you marrying a man who allows his family to treat you like sh**!
If they hate you that much is probably for things he has told them about you. Open your eyes and move on!”
Clearly, this Redditor knows that, essentially, it is not OP’s fault. However, it is clear that OP needs to take charge of her situation. She is walking into this situation with her eyes open, knowing that the situation is not good and is only getting worse. OP must acknowledge that this could be walking into a severe situation.
This Is Not The Solution
The crux of OP’s situation is that she does not want her sister-in-law to attend her wedding. However, this is a futile attempt to deal with the situation:
“Soft YTA.
Your feelings toward your fiance’s sister are valid, and you’re entitled not to want her at your wedding. But you can’t invite the groom’s sister and certainly can’t refuse to do so. Maybe exclude his third cousin who’s a bit “off” but not a sibling.”
This would not work. OP’s fiance has no issue with the way his family is acting. Removing his sister from the wedding will only make things worse, and it is ultimately not a good idea to try and exclude a close member of her potential husband’s family.
Many have suggested that the OP is quite immature about how she deals with the situation, even if she is not to blame. OP needs to accept that she should not be going to resolve the problem with such a petty attempt at punishing OP’s sister-in-law.
Source: Reddit