Many of us think about deciding what name to take once we are married. While women don’t need to take their husbands’ names when they marry, many women do so. However, it is becoming increasingly common for women to keep their surnames and for some men to adopt their wife’s surnames.
In addition, some couples change their name to a double-barreled surname in another way to move away from tradition. This topic is often discussed among teams, and in one case on Am I The A**hole this week, things went a little too far.
In a recent post, one man asked if he was out of line for getting so annoyed at his girlfriend for changing his surname on an RSVP to her friend’s wedding. The original poster (OP) said his girlfriend had changed his surname as a joke and that she would have told her friends at the wedding (he only knew a couple of them) that it was indeed just for fun and that they were not married, nor has he changed his name.
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He Was Not Impressed
The joke backfired on the OP as he was not impressed by his girlfriend’s behavior. Saying, “she knows that me taking her name would represent a victory for her, and so the joke feels less playful and more a competitive jibe at my expense.”
He said she was childish and disrespectful, as his name is critical to his identity. One person was perplexed at how the OP felt the need to ask if he was the a**hole when they said, “OP seems like the type to make a scene out of something minuscule….”
Who Was in the Right?
While we can see both sides of this story, some were clear that the OP was the a**hole when they said, ‘I’m not a fan of pranks in general, but this one seems harmless save for his fragile ego. Girlfriends should start looking for other red flags before they do get married”.
While many people deemed the OP to be the a**hole, others could see it from his perspective, saying, “ESH she is making it seem like they are already married and announcing it at her friend’s wedding, which is a dick move. Don’t bring drama and pranks to someone else’s celebration”.
Another agreed with this sentiment: “They aren’t even ENGAGED! I could see doing this as a lark, married couple, or engaged. But she put their names down as the same without any consultation with her BOYFRIEND.”
Empathy for the OP did not last long when one Reddit user said, “Yeah… I was leaning toward NTA until that line since I guess it’s a bit of a weird move on the girlfriend’s part. Still, after that, it was clear that OP is annoyed because he feels emasculated for the stupidest reason in the universe.”
Another agreed, saying, “Literally no one will care or ask about your last names. Also, you should tell her to expect her to take your last name, but you wouldn’t do the same for her.. because masculinity is as fragile as ever.”
An Update
In an update to the original post, the man explained why he did not want to change his name. He does not expect his girlfriend to do the same. He quickly redeemed himself and pointed out he was not a misogynist, as many people suggested, and did not see it as an appropriate joke.
Something tells us that this may not be the end of their tumultuous talks, as there seem to be some deeper issues here.
HIS MOTHER AND AUNT ARE BANNED FROM HIS WEDDING AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO HIS FIANCÉ
Source: Reddit