Indulge in a bit of burger banter because, let’s face it, nothing destroys a meal quite like a botched burger! We asked the question, “What are the ultimate deal breakers when it comes to burgers?” Prepare yourself for a trip into the world of culinary calamities as we explore the most significant burger mistakes that can make any burger lover cringe. From soggy buns to overcooked patties, these burger sins are guaranteed to derail your dining experience. So, gather ’round and discover the critical ingredients to a burger catastrophe that will leave you shaking your head in disbelief.
Terrible Tommies
It’s happened to the best of us. We’ve wrapped our chops around a delicious burger and… “Ugh! Bad tomato alert! Bad tomato alert!”
Put succinctly by one sharer: “Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato.”
Bad Building
That awkward moment when your burger ends up coating the walls….
“Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce.”
Soggy Situation
This is usually caused by an OTT amount of sauce.
“I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I’m not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much.”
Lettuce Pray It’s A Good Burger
The iceberg lettuce has got to be fresh and crisp. And what’s with this fancy arugula nonsense?
“Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can’t get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu too.”
Eggcuse Me?
“I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, ‘egg.’ I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts.
No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible – what self-respecting chef would serve that?”
Patty Party
…That you weren’t invited to.
One minute you’re enjoying your dinner, and the next thing you know, the patty has “frisbee” out and all flown across the table.
Vertigo
A burger isn’t enjoyable if you have to dislocate your jaw to eat the thing. Fact.
One user agreed: “A burger should be wide, not tall.”
Size Matters
Speaking of length and width…
“If I can’t bite it without the entire thing losing structural integrity. Related, giant patties suck. Multiple thin patties are the way to go if you want a meaty burger.”
Say Cheese
There is much debate on what type of cheese belongs on burgers (most folks aren’t crazy about blue cheese or American cheese), but either way, there’s one common denominator:
“Unmelted cheese – imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit an ice block.”
Foreign Objects
And by this, we mean “freebies” that you didn’t want/asked not to be included, such as pickles.
“And you can’t just pick ’em off. The whole burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it.”
Bone Idol
“I bit into a burger over 20 years ago and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack.
That tooth later became impacted and led to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot.”
Onion Issues
If an onion is going to be a burger factor, it needs to be done RIGHT.
This means cooked properly, chopped perfectly, and the right amount (too much is WAY too overpowering).
Tomatoes When You Hate Tomatoes
Most burgers come with these little nuisances whether you asked for them or not. And sometimes, even when you specifically asked them not to.
“Can’t even just take it off because the juice and seeds have already befouled the burger.”
Mayo No-No
Burgers need sauce, yes. But mayo is a BIG no-no for a lot of folks.
“How did so many burgers in America default to automatically putting mayo on burgers? The fact I have to say no mayo on every burger I buy these days bothers me.”
Ketchup
And ketchup has a big squad of haters too.
“I cannot stand ketchup. I don’t understand how other people do like it. It’s one of those foods for me. And it’s on everything.”
Price
A high-priced burger often leaves a lot of room for disappointment.
“I ain’t paying $25 for your artisanal hipster burger that is half the size of a typical burger. Street Food Bistro nonsense.”
Brioche Buns
Many folks don’t dig the sweetness of brioche with the savory taste of the rest of the burger.
“A brioche bun subtracts three stars from every potential five-star burger, I don’t like my burger in a cake.”
People
“People who want to talk to me while I’m eating my burger.” We can’t disagree. Let us chow down in peace.
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