Frogs. You either love them or hate them. But, either way, you will love these 100 frog jokes that we dragged up from the swamps and lily ponds.
Perhaps your friends will turn green with envy as you share these…
So, grab a lily pad, relax and let the fun begin…
1. Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
2. What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue-tied!
3. How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
4. What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
5. Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
6. What happened to the frog’s car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
7. What’s green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill
8. What is a frog’s favourite game?
9. What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
French flies and a diet croak.
10. Why did the frog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.
11. Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a “hopperation”!
12. What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!
13. How deep can a frog go?
14. What do stylish frogs wear?
15. What does a bankrupt frog say?
“Baroke, baroke, baroke.”
16. What’s green and loud?
17. What happens when you cross a frog and a dog?
You get a croaker spaniel.
18. What kind of pole is short and floppy?
19. What’s a frog’s favourite restaurant?
20. What type of shoe do frogs wear?
21. What do you call a frog that lies?
22. What’s a frog’s favourite car?
23. What do you get when you cross a frog and a bunny?
A bunny ribbit.
24. How do frogs share secrets?
Through Morse Toad.
25. What’s a frog’s favourite candy?
26. Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
27. What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
28. What type of frog has horns?
A bull frog.
29. The fly said to the frog, “time flies when you’re having fun.”
The frog replied, “Actually, time’s fun when you’re having flies!”
30. How does a frog pick his favourite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
31. What do you call a 100-year-old toad?
An old croak.
32. What do you call 144 frogs in a box?
33. Where do frogs go to get glasses?
34. How did the toad die?
He just croaked it!
35. Did you hear about the frog that drowned?
He fell off the deep end.
36. What do you say to a frog who hitchhikes?
37. What do window-cleaning frogs say?
38. What’s a frog’s favourite year?
A leap year.
39. Why did the frog go to jail?
He robbed a riverbank.
40. What do you get if you cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
41. What do frogs drink in winter?
42. Where do frog musicians get recognition?
The Grammy Awarts.
43. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
They always do jump shots.
44. What do frogs do with paper?
Rip it, rip it.
45. What’s a frog’s biggest flaw?
They’re always jumping to conclusions.
46. What do you get when you cross a frog and a snake?
A jump rope.
47. What did the frog dress up as for Halloween?
48. Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
He was newt to the area.
49. Why do frogs want to be rappers?
They’re big into hip-hop.
50. What’s green with red spots?
A frog with chickenpox m.
51. What did the frog say as he looked through the books at the library?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!
52. What do frogs drink?
53. Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
54. What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.
55. What’s a frog’s favourite flower?
56. What’s green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
57. What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
58. What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
59. What jumps up and down in front of a car?
60. Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
61. When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
62. What do Winnie the Pooh and Kermit the frog have in common?
The same middle name.
63. What’s green and only appears once every 76 years?
64. What do you say if you meet a toad?
65. Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
66. What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
67. What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
68. What is green and red and goes around and around at 100 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender
69. What did the biology teacher tell the frog?
Looks aren’t everything, it’s what inside you that really matters.
70. What did the frog name its daughter?
71. Where do you get frog’s eggs?
At the spawn shop
72. Hey, do you guys want to hear a story about frogs?
I think you’ll find it ribbeting
73. What do you call it when two frogs have a chat?
A ribbiting conversation
74. Which bit of a frog is the best to eat
The rib bit
75. Did you hear about the frog professor?
He gave very ribbiting lectures
76. How do frogs fasten sheet metal?
77. Have you heard the saying “Raining Cats & Frogs”?
Don’t make fun of my lisp
78. What did the bus driver say to the frog?
79. Why can’t frogs ever complete their bucket lists?
They croak before they even get started
80. What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent
81. What do you call a talking frog?
A quantum leap.
82. What’s the world’s weakest animal?
A toad, she croaks if you even touch her!
83. What do you get when you cross a frog and a popsicle?
84. Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
Because they’re already wearing green!
85. What is a frog’s favourite music?
86. What do frog princes like to eat with their hamburgers?
87. What happened when the frog’s car broke down?
He jump-started it!
88. What’s green and jumps out of a hole on February 2nd?
A ground frog.
89. Where does a frog sit?
On a toadstool.
90. What do Scottish frogs play?
91. What did the frog say to his girlfriend?
We’re in a Kermitted relationship.
92. What did the angry frog say?
I’m hopping mad
93. Knock, knock!
Kermit a crime, and you’ll get locked up by the police.
94. Knock, knock!
I toad you already – listen!
95. What book do frog parents read to their kids before bedtime?
Hop on Pop.
96. Where do frogs start their car races?
From the tad pole position.
97. Who is Kermit’s favourite character in The Hobbit?
98. What did the frog say about meeting new frogs?
He never met a morphosis he didn’t like
99. What did the frog say when he entered the busy restaurant?
Wow! This place is hopping.
100. Why did the frog keep eating his homework?
It was written on flypaper
Well, that’s the end of those. Which ones were your favourites? Sadly, time flies (did someone mention fly? We’re hungry) when you’re sharing jokes.
It’s time we hopped away from here.