Planning a wedding can be exciting for many couples as they look forward to celebrating their love with family and friends. However, when a future mother-in-law refuses to allow the bride-to-be to talk about her wedding plans, it can be a frustrating and disheartening experience. In this situation, the woman faces the difficult task of navigating a delicate family dynamic while maintaining her vision for her special day. The clash of expectations and boundaries can make it challenging to balance the needs of both parties, and it may require open communication and compromise to resolve.
A young bride-to-be turned to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) to vent about her future mother-in-law who does not allow her to talk about her wedding to her son.
This is strange, but because the woman has been with her fiancé for seven years, her FMIL’s actions seem confusing. It was revealed by the original poster (OP) that her fiancé’s sister got engaged before they did, and her wedding will take place before theirs.
Only Sister-in-Law Can Talk About Wedding Plans
While the OP is happy for her future SIL, she is not pleased that her FMIL talks happily about her daughter’s wedding plans, but when she tries to talk about her wedding, the FMIL covers her ears. When questioned about the lack of interest in her son’s wedding, her FMIL says she likes what she is saying but is worried that she will forget about what the OP was saying and suggest them to her daughter by mistake.
The OP’s fiancé has discussed the issue with his mom, telling her how upsetting it is that she does not seem to care about his wedding. The discussion fell on deaf ears as the FMIL refused to listen, leading her son to think that he should not even include his mom in his wedding plans.
Fans of AITA responded by saying that they were annoyed with the FMIL too, saying, “Don’t let her know anything, and when ppl ask her about it, just say she didn’t want to hear about your day and that she didn’t give a ****.” Another was less direct when they said, “If she doesn’t listen, she can’t be part of the wedding planning or party. She’s a guest now. Maybe it’s for the best.”
Is Mother-In-Law Trying To Protect Their Plans?
Some Reddit users believed that the FMIL was doing a good thing so that the OP’s wedding plans were not confused with her FSIL. One person said, “I commend your FMIL for doing this. I know you feel like she isn’t interested, but she is protecting your wedding planning and ideas.”
Another person said, “Eep. I’m so sorry but a different perspective. It’s kind of respectful of her to have this boundary.” These quotes show that there are always two sides to every story. The primary advice was to “Try again after your SIL’s wedding.”
Time is Needed
Some people suggested that the OP and her fiancé need to stop discussing plans in front of his mom, with one person saying, “This seems a little weird, but not absolutely terrible. Your fiancé should make it clear, though, that if she refuses to discuss plans with you at all, that means she is not allowed to ever show any upset if there’s something about your wedding she dislikes”.
In an update, he said that they would be discussing the wedding date, time, and dress code, and that is it, in respect of her constantly saying she does not want to hear about his plans. The OP said that if her FMIL starts to ask questions, she will simply say, “no need to worry, it’s all organized. You can just enjoy the day.”Touche!
It appears that after advice from AITA fans, the bride-to-be is happy to get on with her plans without the help of her FMIL, and she knows she has to respect her boundaries.