OP has been friends with their best friend since they were 13/14, and they are now in their early 30s. While OP has always been there for their friend through thick and thin, their friend has not always been the greatest in return.
In college, mutual friends played mean pranks on OP, and the friend did not apologize or stick up for OP until they were called out. During 2020, OP experienced several stressful events, including a career-ending injury, wrongful termination from their job, and their father’s illness.
When OP’s friend offered to help, they asked her to pick up a grocery order and drop it off at their dad’s place, but the friend never responded or picked up the groceries. Months later, the friend sent a “happy birthday” text to OP without support or follow-up.
OP eventually moved on from the friendship and underwent therapy to process the loss. However, the friend reached out 2.5 to 3 years later, wanting to start communicating again. She was offended that she was not the maid of honor in OP’s wedding photo and did not understand why OP had moved on from their friendship.
Standing Her Ground
Redditors generally agree that OP is not the one in the wrong in this situation. Taking her friend back into her life is not considered the best idea, according to the thread:
“Don’t let her back into your life. She has shown you who she is. Block her, don’t even explain anything to her. She’s delusional to think she should have been your maid of honor.”
This is a harsh but potentially necessary statement for the OP to hear. OP seems to be well aware of all the wrongdoings her supposed best friend has done to her over the years. Therefore, playing with the idea of having her back into her life seems like a step backward to many of the participants in the thread.
Beyond that, the best friend is thought of as being still deluded and somewhat unhinged. She expects to have been the maid of honor at OP’s wedding, even though that had not spoken for three years.
OP was better with her when she was not in her life, so this commenter suggests continuing this would be for the best. Blocking her ex-best friend seems like a sensible option to ensure that OP has the best chance of moving on with her life.
She Was Not a Friend
Many in the thread are boiling down the essence of the story to explain better why OP’s ex-friend does not deserve her attention:
“She has brought nothing positive to your life for quite a long time. She left you hanging when you really could have used a friend. She left your dad hanging and completely blew you off and became a ghost.“
OP’s ex-best friend has not been part of her life for some time, even before the separation period. They argue that OP does not benefit from her in her life, so why should she let her back in?
Moreover, there are several life-changing events for which people rely on their friends that OP’s ex-friend was never there for. It is clear that OP had had some very difficult experiences in recent years that many would regard as the moments friends would try and help them out. Her abuses speak volumes; to most in the thread, this represents the lack of a real friendship.
Why Giver Her Any Time
Many commenters wonder why OP is even bothering to ask the question. It seems like an obvious answer to the prospect of her friend coming back into her life:
“Why are you even giving any time to this person? Your wedding, family life, and friendships have nothing to do with her.”
This statement reflects a lot of the thread’s perspective on why OP is willing even to humor the idea of having her back in her life when she has been better off without her.