The author’s wife has been working long hours for several weeks, putting in 10 to 14-hour days and even working through weekends, causing her to be stressed and unhappy with her job. The author could not take his mind off her position and felt like he had to walk on eggshells.
To help, he texted her boss and told him there were limits for human beings and that this situation shouldn’t happen again. However, the wife learned about the message and accused the author of being misogynistic and crossing the line.
She also told him she couldn’t trust him to discuss work or her feelings. The author realizes he made a mistake and apologizes to his wife, who asks him to apologize to her boss and not speak to him again.
The author’s wife’s boss was understanding and told him he wouldn’t let it affect his treatment of her at work. Although the relationship between the author and his wife may take time to heal, they will work on it step by step.
The situation shows that the husband acted out of concern for his wife’s well-being and stress levels. However, by texting her boss, he may have overstepped her bounds and violated her trust, which led to her feeling disrespected and upset.
Communication is vital in any relationship, and it is necessary to understand and respect each other’s boundaries, especially in matters related to work and personal space. The best way to resolve the situation would be to apologize, listen to his wife’s perspective, and work together to rebuild trust in the relationship.
Speaking to someone else’s boss is generally unacceptable in any scenario because it puts the individual’s career at risk. One Redditor comments, “YTA, I don’t know what field your wife works in, but women often have to fight a lot harder for promotions and raise than men do.”
And “Let’s be honest; he might have single-handedly tanked her career at this office. And depending on her industry and how small/specialized it is, he may have completely killed her career.” Let’s hope this isn’t the case.
Generally, all commenters believe he is the a**hole and should never have gotten involved with his partner’s work matters. It’s essential to approach the situation carefully and consider the potential consequences of getting involved. Talking with the partner first and discussing possible solutions may be better.
His partner can likely handle the situation herself, and if she feels she cannot cope with the work, she should speak to her boss directly. It makes her look weaker and less competent that she would need someone to talk to her boss on her behalf.
One Redditor commented, “The 1950s called, and they need you back. This is the same b*neheaded “chivalric” energy that brought us the Will Smith Oscars slap. Only the career stakes for OP’s wife are very real. Way to rob her of agency, OP.”
The author admits that he is the a**hole and is trying to work things out with his partner.