OP is in their 30s and visits their conservative, far-right parents every eight weeks. Last year, OP switched to a vegetarian diet, and it’s become a contentious topic whenever they visit their parents. OP’s parents act like it’s the strangest thing they’ve ever heard, mock OP for feeling sorry for cows, and argue with pseudoscientific claims.
Whats Cooking?
OP’s mother also acts like it’s the hardest thing on earth to cook food for OP, even though OP knows she has many vegetarian recipes in her usual repertoire. After trying to argue with them for months, OP finally had enough and told their mother that she should get checked for early Alzheimer’s or dementia since she seemed to have forgotten all of the vegetarian dishes she used to cook.
OP left and isn’t sure if or when they’ll visit again. Since then, their mother has sent them long texts about how disrespectful they were and how they acted entitled, like a know-it-all.
They Are Behaving Like Children
A large cohort of Redditors has taken to the comment section in defense of OP’s actions. More specifically, they are calling out the ridiculous behavior of OP’s parents:
“I don’t classify your actions as gaslighting. To me, I interpret it way more as you being sarcastic. You can only have the same conversations with people so many times, with them refusing to understand, before you get irritated and become less tactful. Meanwhile, if they would just grow up and act like reasonable people, it would have never gotten to this point.
Tons of people can’t stand being called out for their behavior. They refuse to reflect at all.”
This Redditor deconstructs the situation effectively. Firstly, they noted that OP’s comments were not unreasonable, based on how difficult OP’s parents have been. OP was being sarcastic, which might provoke an argument in many cases, but it is in response to many challenging interactions with their parents.
Vegetarianism is a widely understood and catered-for dietary choice. Many meals are naturally vegetarian. Therefore, their objections to the diet are unnecessary and fundamentally straightforward to understand. It is clear to this commenter that the parents have a deeper issue with OP’s lifestyle and are acting immaturely towards OP, making them feel awkward.
The Redditor also notes that many people take issue with having their behaviors challenged. It can seriously resonate with people who will take great offense at being called out for what they are doing. Feeling defensive, the parents have likely overreacted to OP’s accurate but hurtful comments.
OP Is Being Unfair
A small section of the thread has noted that OP might be overreacting in this situation to begin with.
“YTA. Sounds like you care more about your diet than your relationship with your family. Stay home and make whatever you want.”
This commenter makes the point that OP is trying very hard to stick to their vegetarian diet, which is ultimately affecting their parents. When OP visits, they insist that their parent prepare vegetarian meals, which they may not necessarily want.
Therefore, there is a degree of selfishness coming from the OP. They are essentially prioritizing their diet over their relationship with their parents. OP could simply accept the food their parent has generously prepared, insisting it is orientated around them.
Alternatively, the Redditor suggested that OP can easily prepare their own meals at home. Or even take up the cooking duties with their parents to ensure that everyone is happy with the arrangement.
They Are Both Wrong
Some of the thread participants have suggested that everyone in the situation has to take some responsibility for what went wrong:
“ESH – You are the AH for your dementia comment and your identity politics. They are the AH for not accepting your life choices without ridiculing them.”
Essentially, both OP and their parents had a part to play in the argument that occurred. OP should not have pushed their diet on their parent so hard. OP’s parents should have tried to appreciate their child’s decisions at tried to understand them better.
HIS MOTHER AND AUNT ARE BANNED FROM HIS WEDDING AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO HIS FIANCÉ
Source: Reddit