OP has been dating his girlfriend, Anne, for the past five years, and they have lived together for a year since Anne got a job in OP’s city. They installed security cameras in their house due to the high rate of break-ins in their area. Anne knows about the cameras and their motion activation feature.
Constant Complaints
Anne started complaining about OP not contributing equally to chores, even though they have been alternating and dividing the chores equally. OP initially brushed off her remarks, but they escalated over the last few months. Anne exploded at OP last week, accusing him of not doing his fair share around the house and treating her like a maid.
Doubting his own recollection, OP went through the entire 1.5-year archive of security camera footage and tallied how many times each of them did dishes and grabbed cleaning supplies. To his vindication, the tally showed that they had indeed split chores equally, with insignificant differences over the year and a half.
When OP confronted Anne, she shrugged off her behavior as “remembering things differently” but accused OP of violating her privacy by going through the security camera footage. Anne has broken up with OP and is trying to move out, but the current circumstances are making it difficult.
OP is heartbroken and confused as many of their mutual friends are siding with Anne and calling him “creepy, abusive, controlling, invasive, etc.” OP is at a loss and beginning to doubt himself.
He Acted Reasonably
Many are on OP’s side of this situation:
“NTA, she has accused you of not pulling your weight, and you pulled hard proof that you were. She knew about the cameras, so it’s not an invasion of privacy, I would argue, and honestly, it sounds like you’ll need some time to get over her, but it’s for the best.”
This Redditor makes an excellent point about the camera evidence. They were not secret, and they were installed under a mutual decision made by the couple. Therefore, it is not an invasion of privacy but a simple use of the footage she knew they had available.
OP only pulled this information because his partner continually confronted him about his lack of chore completion. He acted as a last resort to highlight to his girlfriend that she was wrong.
However, 1.5 years of footage is a very long time and must take a long time to review. In this case, OP’s girlfriend has the right to feel a little violated, which is an in-depth look at her movements in the house over that year or so.
It Wasn’t About The Chores
A cohort of commenters has noted that OP’s girlfriend’s anger towards him may have come from a different source:
“Yeah, sadly, I would say her accusations were her just projecting her dissatisfaction with the relationship onto OP. It seems much easier to break up with someone if you blame them for causing it, and lots of people do that unconsciously.”
A deep-thinking Redditor made a more concerning comment. They have deduced that the anger has come from an overall resentment of their relationship rather than an irritation associated with chores. This would be a more concerning situation as it is now a story of an unhappy couple rather than a tale of proving someone wrong.
She Is Looking For An Excuse
Sadly, a lot of the thread began to discuss the fact that this is simply OP’s girlfriend looking for a way out:
“This was my thought, as well. If not for the recordings, she would have broken up with him for “not doing his fair share of chores”.
Some people just don’t know how to end a relationship unless it’s someone’s “fault”.”
As this thread participant describes, she is simply looking for a reason to cut ties. She has already decided that it is time for them to split up but would prefer to have a reason to blame it on OP.
HIS STONE COLD GREED. WIFE TRAGICALLY LOSES HER PARENTS BUT HER HUSBAND DEMANDS INHERITANCE
HIS MOTHER AND AUNT ARE BANNED FROM HIS WEDDING AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO HIS FIANCÉ
Source: Reddit