OP didn’t have a pleasant relationship with her sister due to their age gap and her sister’s bitterness toward her. Her sister would often urge her kids to mock OP. During the COVID-19 lockdowns, OP’s sister booted her daughter out of her home because of mood swings, and OP took her niece in. However, her niece later moved back in with her mother and turned against OP. In 2021, OP’s nephew also asked for support, and she took him in.
She Invited Them to Her Wedding
During this time, OP got married, and despite the differences between her sister and her children, she invited them to the wedding.
They Ridiculed Her
However, they ridiculed her and refused to attend, except for her niece.
She’s Never Going To Speak to Them Again
Her niece promised to be a witness but did not show up on the day. This hurt OP deeply, and she vowed never to speak to them again.
She’s Not Going to Go to Niece’s Wedding
Now, OP’s niece is getting married, and OP’s mother wants her to attend the wedding, but OP refuses.
Be the Bigger Person
She reminded her mother of what happened at her own wedding, but her mother thinks she should be the bigger person and move on. However, OP still feels hurt and betrayed by her family’s behavior and is not willing to forgive and forget.
Online Users Furious
There are lots of furious spectators to this story. There is a particular cohort who suggests that, ultimately, the blame lies with the OP and her sister’s mother. Her mother’s parental style has knowingly created a good and a bad sister. Where OP is the good sister who is constantly trying to pick up the pieces for being treated so poorly.
Passive Parenting
“But this sort of passive parenting, where they let the bad child stay bad and make the good child deal with it while using zero parental authority to fix the situation or work on it, is exactly why your sister is like this. So stop giving into mom, this whole situation is 100% her fault.”
An Accurate Summary
This comment accurately summarises the issues that are being discussed. Their mother has created an environment for the OP’s sister to do whatever she wants by making the OP feel guilty for not letting go of her past bad deeds.
Do What Is Right for You
It is evident that the OP has always tried her best to be a part of the family and help whoever was in need. Even extending her compassion to her sister’s children, who have subsequently turned against her too. Many of the commenters are outraged at the lack of respect that she has been shown.
It’s Not Bad
“At every turn, you have acted with love, compassion, kindness, and honor. And in every instance, it was thrown back in your face (usually after costing you considerable time, energy, and money.)
Standing up for yourself and your right to basic respect and dignity is not bad.”
Vicious Cycle
It is clear that the OP is a good person but has fallen into a cycle of being treated badly and having to continually pick up the pieces and pretend that she is okay with how her family has treated her. It is time for her to show herself the respect that she shows others, committing to taking a step back from her toxic family members.
Do the Same to Them
Sometimes it is best to do to others as they have done to you. It would be a great idea to show her family the same level of respect by confirming attendance and then not showing up to the wedding.
RSVP Yes and No Show
“Not the jerk. This is easy, RSVP yes and no show.”
Sometimes the deed that requires the least amount of effort is the most effective one. But playing along as normal to her family, they will be even more shocked that she could abandon them as it would be entirely out of character. That would really show them that there is a line in the sand and that, this time, the OP means it.
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