A woman looked for support on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole as she struggled with a delicate situation involving her boyfriend, his daughter, and his ex, who is ill with cancer.
The woman explained that her boyfriend has a 10-year-old daughter whose mom, whom the OP has never gotten along with, suffers from an aggressive form of brain cancer. She explains that the ex believes that she was having an affair with her husband before the divorce and believe that she is hated by the ex, having been referred to as a “home-wrecker” and a “s**t.”
While the relationship between the OP and her boyfriend’s ex is strained, her boyfriend adores his daughter and is still friendly With his ex as he has known her since childhood and they were together for 15 years.
Boyfriend Has Been Taking His Ex to Her Appointments
The OP explained how her BF has been taking his ex to her hospital appointments since she was diagnosed, and she has been minding their daughter.
The OP has been thanked for minding the daughter, but things started to go wrong when the OP was asked to take the child back to her mom’s house. When she dropped the child off, her mom began saying that the OP was glad that she was dying and that she would be happy that her daughter would be hers when she dies.
Many other nasty things were said, but the OP’s boyfriend stayed quiet. When they got home, the OP lost it with her BF, explaining that she should not be insulted like that and that she no longer wants to look after his daughter. The BF insisted that she was being an a**hole and that his ex only has a few weeks to live, so she should be considerate.
People Offered a Lot of Advice
People on Reddit responded to the OP by saying that she needed to understand how brain tumors can affect cancer and that “A good compromise would be to take a few days to yourself to decompress, but washing your hands completely of the situation would come back to haunt you.
” Others thought of the young child, with one person commenting “She’s ten, she’s just been through a divorce and watched her dad immediately replace her mom, and her mom is dying.” When looking from the boyfriend’s perspective, one person said, “Like it or not, your boyfriend is a father to a traumatized child, and if you stay, you’re going to have to deal with that.”
Her Boyfriend Surprised Her
In an edit, the OP thanked people for sharing their thoughts and said she was just angry and didn’t think she would stop minding the BF’s daughter, as she acknowledges that the girl will always be a part of her life.
In a later post, the OP said that she sat down with her BF, who apologized for calling her an a**hole and said he was shocked by the incident, which meant he couldn’t process everything as well as he would have liked. When the OP insisted she loved her BF and wanted him to sick up for her in the future, he asked her to marry him. They are now engaged and are “relatively happy”.
The Mom Passed Away
In the update, the OP also revealed that her BF’s ex died.
The daughter is now living with them and doing ok but is missing her mom terribly and, at one point, started yelling and screaming at the OP.
The OP knew this was a difficult time and offered to go and stay with a friend so that she had space but the girl was distraught and begged her to stay, which she did.
One person gave this advice “This is heartbreaking, but I’m glad you guys are making things work… if you can look into grief counseling for them; she lost her mom, and he lost his childhood friend and partner for 15 years, they gonna need help building cope mechanisms to navigate this pain.”
It is clear that the OP is trying to support her fiancé and his daughter, and we hope that they support each other through this difficult time.
HIS STONE COLD GREED. WIFE TRAGICALLY LOSES HER PARENTS BUT HER HUSBAND DEMANDS INHERITANCE
Source: Reddit