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A father-to-be recently reached out to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole to ask if he was wrong to suggest using his ex-girlfriend’s name for their child.
The 34-year-old told readers that his first child was due in 12 weeks, and they have been thinking of baby names, with the sex unknown. The original poster (OP) was chatting with his wife one evening and was firing off names when he suggested the name of a girlfriend he had six years before meeting his wife.
His Previous Girlfriend Passed Away
While you may be raising your eyebrows at suggesting using a previous partner’s name for your child, there was much more to this suggestion. The OP went on to explain that, tragically, his last girlfriend passed away, leaving him feeling devastated. He went on to explain that the experience of losing his girlfriend is still painful to think about and that naming his future child after she was always in his mind. As well as a nod to his ex, the OP loves the name Nancy, but his wife was left unimpressed.
His Wife Is Uncomfortable About Of Keeping His Girlfriend’s Memory Alive Through Their Child
The OP’s wife didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of her child having the same name as her husband’s dead girlfriend. He went on to explain how important his ex was to him and that he didn’t think it was strange like his wife. The fact that he misses her every day, as she was his best friend, is a good reason to name his child after his ex, in his opinion. The OP expressed that he feels his wife may be insecure and stressed due to the pregnancy, so she won’t stop talking about the name thing.
Reddit Fans React
The post got a lot of traction, with many people commenting that he was being unreasonable. One person said, “Not how you intended it, but it comes across as “Hey wife, you’re my second choice, so let’s name our kid after what would have been my first choice” Another commented, “Let’s name our kid after the love of my life! Because Nancy was defo THE One, judging by how he talks about her!”
Others were slightly less harsh and simply asked him to look at things differently, with one person commenting, “This, completely. It would be one thing if this girl were a close friend of your wife’s. You both missed her and wanted to honor her, but wanting to name your baby after your dead ex-girlfriend is…tone-deaf”. Another person went on to ask him to think about the child when they said, “Am I the only one thinking about the kid growing up to learn her dad used to moan her name.”
The Husband Posts An Update
The OP edited his post to acknowledge that many people thought he was an a**hole. He said he would apologize to his wife and reflect on his feelings, conceding that it was probably a strange idea. He said he was still grieving for his ex-girlfriend even though they were not together when she passed.
It seems he got on board with this comment “YTA – this is your wife’s baby too, and you want HER to think about someone you intimately loved before you married her? Ouch. You can’t honestly think that wouldn’t be hurtful, do you?”
The poster thanked people for giving feedback and helping him think differently, which was nice to see, and we hope the couple finds the perfect name for their baby.
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Source: Reddit