Eggs…so oval. So yummy and so…funny
Here we serve you up 100 egg jokes to enjoy and shared over your breakfast. You will never think of eggs the same way after reading these…
1. Why don’t dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they’re EGGstinct!
2. A wife says to her husband: “We’re out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.”
After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?”
He replies, “They had eggs.”
3. What does an evil hen lay?
4. A piece of toast and a hard-boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
5. Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yokes!
6. What did the meditating egg say?
7. Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
8. My mother went to make a cake and the recipe said to separate two eggs so she put one egg in the living room.
9. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they´d crack each other up
10. What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
11. What do you call a smart egg?
An egg head
12. I went to eat my egg, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I think someone must’ve poached it.
13. Who tells the best eggs puns?
14. Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
Inside an egg-loo!
15. Why did the egg cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!
16. What do you call a scared egg?
17. Why was the egg late for school?
He didn’t study for the eggs-am.
18, What’s an egg’s favourite type of coffee?
19. Why did the celebrity egg start losing her friends?
They called her a shell-out.
20. How did the hen get to work so fast?
She used the eggs-press lane!
21. Why should you be careful what you say around egg whites?
They can’t take a yolk!
22. What did the egg say after acing its test?
“Omelet smarter than I look!”
23. Why do people love having hard-boiled eggs for breakfast?
They’re so hard to beat!
24. What did the hen say to her chick?
“Don’t you egg-nore me!”
25. Why did the egg fail its driving test?
He liked to egg-celerate too much!
26. What do you call a mischievous egg?
A practical yolker!
27. How do you make an egg roll?
Just give it a little push!
28. What do you call an egg who likes to go on safari?
29. What’s a chicken’s favourite coffee drink?
30. Why did the chick jump up and down?
He was eggs-cited
31. What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
32. How do chickens stay fit?
33. What did the doctor tell the chicken with high cholesterol?
“Try to lay off eggs for a while!”
34. How did the chicken feel after a long day on the farm?
35. Why did the egg hide behind its mom?
He was a little chicken!
36. Where is the best place to learn about eggs?
37. What did the two eggs say after brunch?
“Let’s hatch a plan for the rest of the day!”
38. What’s an egg’s least favourite day of the week?
39. When is the best time to eat eggs?
At the crack of dawn!
40. What did the egg say to his girlfriend?
“You are the hottest chick I’ve ever seen and that’s no eggs-aggeration!”
41. What happened to the chicken at school?
He was eggs-pelled!
42. What did the chef say after an incredible breakfast?
“That was egg-ceptional!”
43. What’s an egg’s favourite motivational phrase?
“Stay on the sunny side up!”
44. Why were the eggs running so fast?
They were afraid of being beaten!
45. What did the egg say about escaping the chef?
“I might whisk it and run!”
46. What does Mr Egg say every morning to Mrs Egg?
“Have an eggs-tra special day!”
47. What’s an egg’s favourite sport?
48. What did the omelette say after the breakfast sandwich stole her idea?
“That’s eggs-actly what I just said!”
49. How did the breakfast burrito find out she was sick?
She had an eggs-amination!
50. Why did the rooster ask the hen out on a date?
He was feeling plucky!
51. How does a hen leave her coop?
Through the eggs-it!
52. How did the omelette find out she was ill?
She had a medical eggs-am!
53. Did you hear about the hen who laid her egg on an axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
54. What did the egg say after someone bumped into her?
55. Why did it take the chicken so long to cross the road?
There was no eggs-press lane!
56. I saw an egg behaving really weirdly today.
He must have been really egg-centric.
57. Why did the egg regret being in an omelette?
It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be!
58. What did Snow White name her hen?
59. What did the angry hen say to her child?
You’re such a rotten egg!
60. What did the officer say to the egg after he pulled it over for speeding?
Omelettin’ it slide this time.
61. How do you know if a chef is mean?
He beats all the eggs.
62. What was the chicken told after combing her hair?
You look eggs-traordinary!
63. I saw a sign earlier that said, ‘Free Range Eggs.’ I’ve never heard of Range Eggs before, but at least they were free to take.
64. An egg walked into a bar and cracked a joke.
He left behind a real mess.
65. I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs. Now I can’t find them.
I think they’ve been mislaid.
66. Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
67. A boy walks into a house with a fried egg on his head.
The mom asks, “Why have you got a fried egg on your head?”
The boy replies, “Because boiled eggs fall off.”
68. I was visiting my Grandpa the other day when he said to me, “Let me give you a bit of advice. You can’t make an omelette…”
“Without breaking eggs?” I finished for him.
“No. You can’t make an omelette,” he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
69. Why did the eggs go to school?
So that they could become egg-ucated.
70. What is an egg’s favourite tree?
The might y-oak.
71. How do you know when it’s too hot in the barn?
The hens start laying hard-boiled eggs.
72. What do you call a city with 25 million eggs?
New Yolk City.
73. Do you know any good egg jokes?
Yeah. I’ve got a dozen of ’em.
74. I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, “All items one-third off.”
So I bought a dozen eggs.
Unfortunately, four of them were rotten.
75. What’s a hen’s favorite shipping company?
76. How do eggs get around?
On an s-egg-way.
77. What’s an egg’s favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
78. How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
79. Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
80. How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?
Just one. After that your stomach won’t be empty.
81. Eggs are going up again.
That’ll surprise a few chickens.
82. I went to a cafe for breakfast the other day and ordered eggs.
The woman behind the counter asked me, “How would you like your eggs cooked.”
I said, “Does it affect the price?”
“No, not at all,” she replied.
I said, “In that case, I’d like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please.”
83. At a kid’s birthday party, the hired magician was producing egg after egg from a little boy’s ear.
“There!” he said proudly. “I bet your Mum can’t produce eggs without hens, can she?”
“Oh yes, she can,” said the boy. “She keeps ducks.”
84. What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
85. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
86. Two eggs are in a frying pan.
The first egg says “It’s boiling in here”.
The second egg says “Wow! A talking egg!”
87. What are gegs?
88. How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
89. My brother has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he’s eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He’s full of surprises.
90. A man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry.
He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, “Try our Exotic Breakfast now” so he walks in and sits down at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks what he wants.
The man asks, “What’s your Exotic Breakfast?”
“Baked tongue of chicken,” she proudly replies
The man shouts, “Baked tongue of chicken! Have you any idea how disgusting that is? I’d never even think about eating anything that came out of a chicken’s mouth! Urrghhh!!”
The waitress is a little taken aback, but stays calm and asks him, “No problem, sir. What would you prefer, then?”
The man says, “Just bring me some scrambled eggs.”
91. How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
92. What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
93. Who wrote the book “Great Egg-spectations”?
94. What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
95. When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron’s eggs.
96. It’s my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I’ve found my sea legs.
I’m not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don’t lay eggs.
97.What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
98. How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.
99. What happens if you play table tennis with a bad egg?
It goes ping, then it goes pong.
100. How many eggs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Eggs don’t have hands.
Okay. We’ve run out of hilarious eggs and so it’s time to say farewell and head for the eggs-it.
Hope you cracked up over those jokes!