Trees. So versatile. You can use them to build houses both with and in trees. They are good for climbing and offer cooling shade on those hot days.
They are also great for a laugh and here we have complied a bunch of tree jokes that will have you rustling your leaves in laughter.
So, find yourself your favourite evergreen to rest under and have a giggle at these.
1. What did the tree wear to the pool party?
2. What did the beaver say to the tree?
It’s been nice gnawing you!
3. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green!
4. How do trees access the internet?
They log on.
5. Why do trees make the worst frenemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade!
6. What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.
7. Why did the pine tree get in trouble?
Because it was being knotty.
8. What kind of tree can fit into your hand?
A palm tree!
9. What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?
10. Why did the tree need to take a nap?
11. Why was the weeping willow so sad?
It watched a sappy movie.
12. Why do you never want to invite a tree to your party?
Because they never leaf when you want them to.
13. Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?
In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
14. What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?
A sour puss.
15. What was the tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?
The Captain’s log.
16. What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?
17. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?
Absent without leaf.
18. What happens when a tree falls into mud?
It leafs an impression.
19. What happens to maple trees on Valentine’s Day?
They get sappy.
20. A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree.
21. How do you identify a dogwood tree?
By the bark!
22. What is every single tree’s least favorite month?
23. What must trees drink responsibly?
24. What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?
25. Why did the evil queen order her subjects to cut down all the trees in the kingdom?
She was jealous because every one of them had a bigger crown than her.
26. Why can’t Christmas trees sew?
They always drop their needles.
27. Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?
It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!
28. What did the little tree say to the big tree?
Leaf me alone!
29. Did you hear the one about the oak tree?
It’s a corn-y one!
30. Where do saplings go to learn?
31. Why do trees make great thieves?
32. Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school?
She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
33. Which side of a tree has the most leaves?
34. How do trees make themselves heard?
35. What’s big, grey and falls from trees in Autumn?
36. Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?
No way, that’s just nuts!
37. Which flowering plant is a champion equestrian?
The horse chestnut.
38. What motorcycle brand do London plane trees ride through the forest?
39. Did you hear about the elephant that got stuck up a tree last summer?
In order to get down, she had to sit on a branch and wait until fall.
40. What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
It wooden go.
41. Which Canadian city is a tree’s favorite?
42. What did the single tree say to the tree who stood her up?
You should have put a ring on it.
43. Would you ever try the acorn diet?
No way! It sounds nuts!
44. What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
45. Why do trees hate riddles?
Because it’s too easy to get stumped!
46. Why did the tree get stumped?
It couldn’t get to the root of the problem!
47. What’s the same size and shape as a giant sequoia tree, yet weighs nothing?
A giant sequoia tree’s shadow.
48. What type of fish falls from trees?
49. How do bees travel to trees?
They take the buzz.
50. What is a pine tree’s favorite radio station?
Anything that plays the poplar hits.
51. How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?
They spruce themselves up.
52. What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?
A houseplant going on vacation.
53. How do you know when a tree doesn’t know the answer to something?
54. Why couldn’t the fig tree get back in shape?
It couldn’t stick to a root-ine.
55. The giant pine tree told the private investigator and his dog they were barking up the wrong tree in this investigation.
56. What’s the best way to make a tree laugh?
Tell it acorn-y joke.
57. How did the tree get lost?
It took the wrong root.
58. How do trees contact one another?
59. What is the saddest tree?
The weeping willow.
60. What do you get when you cross a tree with an artificial waterway?
A root canal.
61. How many oranges grow on a tree?
All of them.
62. What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?
63. Why are leaves always involved in risky business?
Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
64. How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
65. Why did the Chesnut tree feel left out?
It never got in on the oak.
66. What is a tree’s favorite school subject?
67. How did the elm tree know the fig tree wasn’t looking for anything serious?
It asked for no twigs attached.
68. What is a pine tree’s favorite singer?
69. I have a pet tree. It’s a lot like having a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.
70. What does a palm tree say when it meets new people?
Lets be fronds
71. What do you call an oak tree that can’t make it’s mind up?
72. When the oak tree made it to high school, he was excited to finally be able to take chemis-tree.
73. In China, they don’t cut trees. They just chopsticks
74. What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies?
75. A bank is considering putting an ATM in a tree and if it works will be expanded to other branches.
76. Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees?
Because they are sycamore.
77. Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?
They maple their brand off the shelves.
78. How do you get down from a tree?
You don’t. Down comes from a duck.
79. Why were so many people sitting under the tree?
It was poplar.
80. How do two rival forests get along?
They sign a peace tree-ty
81. What looks like half a tree?
The other half.
82. Bought a Christmas tree today. The salesman asked if I was going to put it up myself.
I said no, in my living room
83. What did the little tree say to the rude tree?
Leaf me alone.
84. How old was the tiny tree?
85. What do you give to a thirsty tree?
86. Why didn’t the tree hunt?
It was against his beleafs.
87. What did the tree say after he made an offer?
Take it or leaf it.
88. What do you call nice trees without any teeth?
89. What do vain trees do to get rid of wrinkles?
Get a faceleaft.
90. Why was the tree arrested?
91. Why couldn’t the evergreen ever land a date?
It was so busy pining after unavailable trees that it never really branched out.
92. Where do birch trees keep their valuables?
In a river bank.
93. Why isn’t the squirrel hard at work collecting acorns at the oak tree?
She called in sick and went to the beech.
94. How did the apple tree get the job?
It had the right qua-leaf-ications.
95. What did the Jedi say to the sacred tree?
May the forest be with you.
96. What is every tree’s favourite shape?
97. Why did the tree fail maths?
Because it couldn’t do square roots.
98. What kind of stories do giant sequoia trees tell?
99. What gets a year older every time it rings?
100. What’s a tree’s favourite dinosaur?
Okay. It’s time to make like a tree and leaf. We hope you laughed your branches off with those.
It was a privilege to spruce up your day.