We all dread going to the dentist. So much pain and then you have to pay…
To put yourself into the right mindset, we have come up with 100 dentist jokes that will have you laughing without the nitrous oxide.
Go through these while in the waiting room…
1. What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
Thar’s gold in them fills!
2. What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
3. Why did the tree go to the dentist?
To get a root canal
4. Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
5. What time do you go to the dentist?
6. What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
She braces herself!
7. What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
Fill me in when you get back
8. What did the dentist say to his son?
You’re a chip off the old tooth
9. Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
I don’t know, the dentist kept it
10. What did the dentist get for an award?
A little plaque
11. Which is the best day to go to the dentist?
12. How far is it to the dentist’s office?
13. What did the dinosaur eat after it had its teeth taken out?
14. Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
15. What does a dentist give a lion with a sore tooth?
Anything he wants
16. Why does a dentist seem moody?
Because he always looks down in the mouth
17. I’ve been to the dental surgery so many times that I know the drill.
18. My dentist said I should try flossing more, so I’ve started taking dance lessons.
19. My dentist said that my teeth are like a string of pearls. Each one has a hole through it.
20. My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth, but I’ve forgiven him because it acci-dental.
21. Did you know that the police have just raided the dental surgery?
They are performing a cavity search
22. I always make sure I’m nice to my dentist because I know she has fillings too.
23. I asked my dentist if he would like to go out for dinner but he gave me the brush off.
24. I need to book a dental appointment to have root canal. The thought of it is deeply unnerving.
25. A good dentist is a little picky. A really good dentist never gets on your nerves.
26. My dentist asked me if I would please open up, but I didn’t really want to confide in him.
27. I’ve got a new job working at the dental office. I heard about it via word of mouth.
28. My dentist asked me if I floss between meals. I said no, only between my teeth.
29. I had a contagious gum disease, but at least it gave me an infectious smile.
30. Nobody knew I had a dental implant until it came out during conversation.
31. I had an appointment with my dentist to get a cavity fixed but he wasn’t there. Another dentist was filling in.
32. My dentist told me it was about time I put my money where my mouth is, so I got a gold filling in my teeth.
33. What is a dentist’s favourite film?
Plaque to the future
34. What is a dentist’s favourite game?
Caps and robbers
35. What is a dentist’s favourite dinosaur?
36. What is a dentist’s favourite place to buy petrol?
The filling station
37. What is a dentist’s favourite place to go on holiday?
38.What is a dentist’s favourite thing to talk about?
39. What is a dentist’s favourite type of boat?
A tooth ferry
40. What is a dentist’s favourite card game?
41. What is a dentist’s favourite clothes shop?
42. Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?
He needed a filling
43. Why did the astronaut go to the dentist?
He had a black hole
44. Why did the deer go to the dentist?
She had buck teeth
45. Why did the Pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth
46. Why did the golfer go to the dentist?
She had a hole-in-one
47. Why did the lumberjack go to the dentist?
He had a cavi-tree
48. Why did the iPhone go to the dentist?
She had bluetooth
49. What did the computer go to the dentist?
It wanted to get its byte checked
50. Why did the cheerleader go to the dentist?
Because she knew he would enjoy her root-ine
51. Why did the snowman go to the dentist?
He had frostbite
52. Why did the dog breeder go to the dentist?
One of his canines was loose
53. What did one dentist say to the other dentist when they were on a roller coaster?
54. What job did the dentist have when she was in the army?
55. What did the dentist say to the judge?
I promise to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth
56.What do dentists call their patients’ X-rays?
57. What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?
58. Why are dentists good at solving problems?
Because they know how to get to the root of things
59. Why did the dentist decide it was a bad time to ask his nurse on a date?
He was already taking out a tooth
60. How do dentists brush their hair?
With a fine-toothed comb
61. What happened when the dentist went on a date with the manicurist?
They fought tooth and nail
62. What do you call two dentists who are very different?
63. Why did the two dentists get married?
Because they were so enameled of each other
64. Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth
65. Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
I don’t know; the dentist kept it
66. The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.
I said ether/ore.
67. What did Al Gore say when he went to the dentist?
“I have an Inconvenient Tooth.”
68. How many dentists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to administer the anesthetic, one to extract the lightbulb, and one to offer the socket mouthwash
69. Why do dentists like potatoes?
Because they are so filling
70. Why did the guru refuse Novocain at the dentist?
He wanted to transcend dental medication
71. What kind of filling do you want in your tooth?
72. Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window?
Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public
73. How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His drill slipped
74. How is going to the dentist like those movies where a character gets interrogated?
It’s pretty clear when you’re lying — and if you don’t come clean, you might lose a tooth
75. How do you fix a broken tooth?
With tooth paste!
76. What is a dentist’s favorite soda?
All of them
77. Why couldn’t the dentist’s family find the spot where he was buried?
Because there was no plaque on it
78. Dentist: When did you last floss?
Patient: You should know — you did it.
79. Dentist: You need a crown.
Patient: Finally, someone who understands me.
80. Father: Don’t you feel better now that you’ve gone to the dentist?
Son: Sure do… he wasn’t in.
81. A man got kicked out of the dentist’s office for using all the nitrous oxide…
He got the last laugh, though.
82. A group of nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element.
It’s called Flossphorus.
83. Why should you be nice to your dentist?
Because they have fillings too
84. What do you call a dentist who can’t stop working on teeth?
An abscessive compulsive
85. Why didn’t the patient show up at the dentist for their root canal?
They lost their nerve
86. What was the dentist doing in Panama?
Looking for the Root Canal!
87. What did the dentist tell the zombie?
You have a bad case of tooth decay
88. What’s the scientific name for teeth?
89. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because it lost its filling!
90. When is the best time for your friend to go to the dentist?
91. What did the dentist give to the high school marching band?
A tuba toothpaste
92. How are false teeth like stars?
Both only come out at night!
93. What will the dentist give you for $1?
94. Knock, knock.
Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!
95. Why did the yellow tooth not find the white tooth’s jokes funny?
Because he was already dead inside
96. What was the tooth called who went to Oxford University?
The Wisdom Tooth
97. What did Dracula say when he was leaving the dentist?
Fangs a lot
98. What to do you call an old dentist?
Long in the tooth
99. Ten years without brushing causes a horrible tooth decade
100. Why does a vampire brush his teeth after every meal?
To prevent bat breath!
Hope those filled you with joy. Your sense of humour doesn’t have to decay just because you need to go to the dentist.
It’s time to make like a bad tooth and fall out of here. Hope we remembered to turn off the laughing gas…