After explaining to her boyfriend that she does not enjoy big parties, one woman suggested that the couple goes on a break to Napa to celebrate instead. Alongside this decision, the woman told readers of Am I The A**hole that she had booked tickets to visit her friend who had moved across the country so that she could attend her daughter’s baptism.
Only after booking the tickets did the original poster (OP) realize this was the same weekend as her boyfriend’s birthday. Upon discovering the mix-up, the OP’s boyfriend was upset and asked her to change her plans and stay to celebrate his 40th. The OP did agree to change her plans and said they would go to Napa as planned.
The plan seemed to be set until the OP spoke to her friend, who was sad that nobody she knew would be at her daughter’s baptism, just her husband’s family, friends, and her mother. Feeling like she was letting her friend down, the OP decided to use her plane ticket to take an early flight to the baptism and told her BF they would go on their trip another time.
This did not go down well as he had already taken time off work and wanted to celebrate his birthday (she had also noted that she and her family have never been big on birthday celebrations). As the OP could not get a refund, she stuck to her plans and took her BF to dinner the night before the flight.
Things become fraught at the dinner, and her BF was even more upset when the OP took herself home rather than spending the night together. The dinner ended with him walking out, her getting an Uber, and him not responding to her ‘Happy Birthday’ text the next day.
The OP now worries that she messed up as all of their friends were angry at her, and her BF ended up partying with them. Their friends all think that the OP is an a**hole for letting her BF down, and she turned to Reddit for a second opinion.
Those second opinions came thick and fast, with one person saying, “YTA. You don’t like big parties, so he couldn’t have one? He went out of his way to accommodate your wants for HIS birthday, and you dropped him at the last minute.”
Another was very annoyed at the OP’s deception, commenting, “Also, isn’t a baptism when you BECOME a godparent? So, how was she planning on not going?? This was her plan, so she is doubly the a**hole for not being honest from the start.”
Many commented that this incident does not appear to be the first and think it is a regular occurrence. One person said, “This makes me think she’s used to putting him on the back burner for what she wants to do on the regular.“ Another said, “OP should get her priorities in order.”
While many were sympathetic to her dilemma, many thought she needed to take ownership of her mistakes. One person said, “First of all, being together for a year and a half sounds like a serious relationship. He made plans with you FIRST. And it sounds like celebrating birthdays is a big deal for him.
In an update, the OP gave readers shocking news by revealing that her mom told her that her boyfriend plans to propose while they are in Napa! OMG, we hear you say! Her mom and dad knew, and she assumed her friends did too, hence their outrage.
The OP is understandably upset, especially as her boyfriend still ignores her calls. In a second update, she now knows that he was mad on the evening they had dinner, not because she would not stay the night but because he wanted her to propose to her on his rooftop, seeing as though they were not going on vacation.
The OP was writing from her friend’s place and still hasn’t heard from her boyfriend. So I think it is safe to say that we CANNOT wait for update number 3!
Source: Reddit