The pumpkins have spent their time rooting around for some home-grown gags to tell. Lets see if these take root with you.
1. What do you call a royal gourd?
2. What do pumpkins bake?
3. What do you call a young pumpkin?
4. Why was the pumpkin blushing?
It kept pumping.
5. Why did the pumpkins run a taxi service?
They make great carriages.
6. What kind of gourd always tells jokes?
7. Where do pumpkins eat dinner?
At the vegi-table.
8. What do you call a smashed pumpkin?
9. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
By using a pumpkin patch.
10. What do gourds learn at school?
The sum of pumpkin pie.
11. Why did the inflatable pumpkin deflate?
It had nobody to keep pump-king it up.
12. Who do pumpkins worship?
13. What do you call a female pumpkin?
14. Why did the pumpkin pie go to the doctors?
It was feeling crummy.
15. How did the pumpkin feel after being carved?
16. What did the turkey say to he pumpkin when it was carved at Thanksgiving?
“Now I know how you feel!”
17. Why didn’t the pumpkin try out for the football team?
It didn’t have the guts.
18. What did one pumpkin say to the other?
Orange you glad I’m here.
19. What is a pumpkins favourite sport?
20. Why was the pumpkin white?
It was pretending to be a ghost for Halloween.
21. What is the square root of pi?
22. Why did the pumpkin move back home?
To get in touch with its roots.
23. Why are pumpkins bad mechanics?
They only do patch jobs.
24. What do you call a pumpkin that loves to fight?
25. What do pumpkin girl guides receive?
26. Where do pumpkins go shopping?
The farmers’ market.
27. Who are all pumpkins scared of?
Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater.
28. Why was the pumpkin afraid of the bird?
It was a scare-crow.
29. Why did the pumpkin need a wig?
It had a bald patch.
30. What do you get if you cross Pikachu with a pumpkin?
31. What did the pumpkin think of the bug repellent?
All pests aside, it didn’t like it.
32. What do city pumpkins call rural pumpkins?
33. What do pumpkins have that zombies love?
34. What do you get after an orange and a pumpkin fight?
35. What do you call a gassy gourd?
36. Why are pumpkins so supportive?
They’re rooting for you.
37. What do angry pumpkins say?
Leaf me alone.
38. How do pumpkins reply to being asked how they are?
I’m feeling vine.
39. What group of people terrify pumpkins?
40. Why did the pumpkin pie fall apart under pressure?
It was a crumble.
41. Why did the pumpkin swallow a candle?
It wanted to be a jack-o-lantern.
42. Why did the pumpkin hand out candy?
It was being sweet.
43. Why did the pumpkin go to the toilet?
To make pumpkin juice.
44. Why did the pumpkin live forever?
Pum-things are meant to be.
45. Why did the pumpkin go to maths class.
It wanted to learn about pi.
46. What do girl pumpkins become?
47. What do pumpkins drive?
48. What do you call a good-looking pumpkin?
49. What pumpkin became a famous chef?
50. What is a pumpkins favourite TV show?
A – In the night gourden.
51. Where do pumpkins go to meet other pumpkins?
The gourden centre.
52. How do pumpkins get the latest news?
They hear it through the grapevine.
53. What did the pumpkin do after leaving jail?
It turned over a new leaf.
54. What kind of pumpkin spends the night drinking?
55. Why did the pumpkin teach sports after meeting Cinderella?
It was already a coach.
56. What do you get if you cross Zeus with a pumpkin?
A Greek gourd.
57. What do you call a pumpkin that keeps running into things?
58. What do you call a heavy pumpkin?
59. What do you get if you cross a lumpy furball with a pumpkin?
60. How do pumpkins say goodbye?
“Seed you later.”
61. What kind of stories do pumpkins tell?
62. What do you call a pumpkin that’s always wet?
63. What is a pumpkins favourite phone app?
64. Why did the pumpkin chew gum?
It was preparing to be a gumbo.
65. Why was the pumpkin full of sewing needles?
It was a pump-pin cushion.
66. What did the pumpkin say at Halloween?
“Leaf this to me.”
67. Why didn’t the pumpkin help during an emergency?
It was rooted to the spot.
68. What is a pumpkins favourite type of restaurant?
69. What is a metal pumpkin made out of?
70. What us a pumpkins favourite film series?
71. Why didn’t the pumpkin like the new watering system?
It irrigated him.
72. What is a pumpkin’s favourite class in photography school?
73. What is a pumpkin without plutonium?
74. Why was the pumpkin green?
It wasn’t feeling well.
75. Why was the pumpkin white?
76. How can you tell if a pumpkin is sick?
It will puke its guts up.
77. What do pumpkins call a sunny day?
An all you can eat buffet.
78. Where do pumpkin criminals live?
In seedy areas.
79. How do pumpkins make people worry?
They plant seeds of doubt.
80. How did the dandelion make the pumpkin blush?
81. What fruits do pumpkins go out with?
82. How can you tell which pumpkins to trust?
The good ones have toothy grins.
83. How did the jack-o-lantern feel when someone put a candle inside it?
84. What do young pumpkins call their best friends?
Their best buds.
85. Why was the pumpkin upset?
It soiled itself.
86. What do you get if you cross a teddy with a pumpkin?
87. Why was the pumpkin perfume fired?
It wasn’t perfuming well at work.
88. What vegetable joined the Spice Girls?
89. How do pumpkins fix mistakes?
They go to the root of the problem.
90. What plant / animal hybrid scares pumpkins?
91. What do you call spots on a pumpkin?
92. How did the pumpkin travel?
It rode on a mobile.
93. What did the pumpkin do to the bug that bit it?
It squashed it.
94. Why don’t pumpkins like reasons?
They’re always un-raisonable.
95. Which artist always picked pumpkins?
96. Why did the pumpkin use bug spray?
Insects kept bugging it.
97. What do pumpkins bake in Cornwall?
98. Does miracle grow work on pumpkins?
Sure, if you give it just one growth squirt.
99. Why did the soil lie to the pumpkin?
It was a ferti-liar.
100. Why did the pumpkin go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal.
Now that the pumpkins have told their very best jokes, they will need to grow some more, so until next time, this is the pumpkins signing off.